It's hard to believe that I'm gonna get any bigger and more awkward in my movement. I can't get up into Greggie's camper anymore without a boost from him or an extra step under the back bumper, I have trouble getting up off the floor, I can't get comfortable enough to sleep without waking up 4 or 5 times a night, and I can't go 2 hours without having to pee, and fuck I'm huge! I'm getting so sick of being pregnant it's not even funny. And I can't drink! I didn't realize that teetotaling would bother me so much, but it does. It's not even heroin I'm craving (as much) anymore, it's a margarita filled with Padron ... or maybe a Jager-bomb ... or a couple of straight-up shots of Southern Comfort. Mmmmmmmm, alcohol. I can't fucking wait for this kid to be born- I deserve ONE booze-fueled night with my man, as long as I can find a good baby sitter. The good part is that if I have Greg with me, he'll keep me from over-indulging and from acting a fool when I get drunk. I haven't drank in so long, I bet 3 frozen drinks will put me in a good place. I wanna get drunk. Fuck other drugs- I want my alcohol! My birthday is on Sunday and I'm gonna throw caution to the wind and have ONE frozen drink. That's right haters- that wasn't a typo. I figure since I've only drank two (2) beers and no (0) liquor-drinks in five (5) months or more, one cold refreshment won't kill me or the baby. Who knows, she might even enjoy it.
Another bitch: my parents are leaving for a week, AND it's gonna be my birthday week, and Greggie refuses to spend the night with me at the house! "Your parents said I couldn't" he says, as if they are gonna be able to enforce it. But he's gonna be like that anyways, letting people HIS OWN AGE tell him what to do. He's always kissing my parents' asses, even when they aren't home. I wish he'd just do what I want, that he obviously wants to do as well. Don't even deny your true feelings, boo... you don't wanna listen to those spoilsports. Don't let anyone poop on our party- you know you want some fat freaky preggo sex in the comfort of the A/C!!!!
I payed $5 to get into kiddie movies every Tuesday all summer. Today I watched Shrek 3 for the first time (I also haven't seen Shrek 2) and it was stupid but fun. I got a thing about cartoons- all cartoons, except for Nick Jr (especially those obnoxious Wonder Pets!) because that stuff isn't cool if you're over the age of five- so $5 seemed like a good investment. Next week they are playing The Water Horse, which I absolutely refuse to watch. It's a movie about a sea monster! For those of you who don't know, I am terrified of boating, cruises, deep water, scuba diving, etc because of sea monsters, which do so exist. Folks have been seeing and reporting sea monsters as far back as we can find! Were they ALL full of shit? I don't think so... and that water horse is one scary sucka.
It took me 4 hours to finish writing this because I cannot fucking sit still no matter how hard I try. I'm smoking tons of weed in an attempt to even myself out, but I'm still fookin' krasy!
5 months ago