Saturday, June 27, 2009

"doing something" usually means City Place

South fucking Florida man! No matter where I go, I still love it here, 95 degree weather and all. Last night my brother and I went downtown. In WPB if you don't do hard drugs, "doing something" usually means City Place. Lame, but this town is also pretty lame so what can you do. Anyway, City Place had no parking except the parking garage, which is expensive. It was Friday night, and there was some sort of weird foreign music playing and I guess a lot of people wanted to hear it. God only knows why though, it was in a strange language and the beat sounded scientifically formulated to incite the worst headache ever in anyone who walked past. Technoish bullshit, but with a whiny voice. Lawdy lawd.

So, we drove back to Shithole Street (Clematis) and parked somewhere around there. Clematis was the original WPB downtown, but once City Place got built some stores on Clematis started to close down cuz they couldn't deal with the competition. Once stores closed down, scary homeless people started hanging around in front of the empty places, because there were no business owners to call the police. The more stores closed, the more scary homeless people came and the more scary homeless people came, the more stores closed. Now there's one white club, one black club, and an Irish pub left on the whole damn street. So it's a shithole.

You'd think that we'd go to park there and realize "hey this place is a shithole! Filled with scary jolly African-Americans! Let's park in the parking garage!" But no, we wanted to save a couple bucks by being at the parking meter. Some dude had given be 35c for a Newport earlier in the night anyway so we just went ahead and parked right off Clematis, on one of them flower streets. We went to City Place and had about as much fun as there is to be had there when you have no money. Lucas got us lost twice- once in downtown and once on the way back from City Place. When we finally made it back (me saying "no, dude! It's fuckin THIS way!" and him not listening; the original prediction was that we'd be in the intercoastal inside of 15 minutes) we realized that parking in downtown was a bad idea- somebody had bashed one of the taillights in.

At first we figured someone had pulled out wrong (we were parallel parked) and smashed it with his car. But that didn't make sense either, because it wasn't the driver-side taillight that was fucked, it was the one closest to the curb. It could have been a car that jumped onto the curb cause he was a dumbass and didn't know how to parallel park, but we started thinking that some asshole just smashed it in just for the hell of it. If that was true, there are three assumptions that can be made about the individual who did such a thing, in that specific area. We can pretty much assume that person is a) male b) young and c) black. Sure one or more of those COULD be wrong, but anyone honest knows it's not fucking likely.

So the taillight still turned on (it's just the casing that's cracked and it's probably gonna cost a goddamn fortune) so we could drive home without fear of the police- well, no more than my normal fear any time I see a cop or cop car. Fucking niggers huh?

Friday, June 26, 2009

the next illegal atrocity he commits

Not only am I not updating, but not many people that I read are updating either. Summer laziness I guess. Okay, I've been traveling which is fun. South Florida is hot.... sickeningly hot. I do want to talk about television though. And since it's my blog, I can write about whatever I want.

Being white-trash redneck southern trailer park blah blah blah (recently I was called a "white supremacist" which I thought was pretty fucking hilarious) it makes sense that I watch a lot of TV. A lot of it I watch on DVD because I'm either behind on the seasons or the show isn't on anymore at all. The series-type shows that I'm currently watching are: The Shield (I'd fuck the shit outta Vic Mackey), Weeds, Dollhouse, Dexter, Life, The Cleaner... and I think that's it. I probably missed one. The Shield is a great show with a very VERY disappointing ending, I just saw the series finale and it made me want to throw a rock at the TV. Lame. They had to kill Shane though, there wasn't another choice, but they didn't have to bone Vic and Ronnie like what happened. I am sad because not only is the show over (yes, I know it's been over forever but now it's over for me) but it ended in such a shitty way.
The Cleaner is another show I just have to complain about. Basically, it's this ex-junkie who decides to make a career out of "helping people." He is hired by worried family and friends of drug addicts, who pay him tons of money to do whatever it takes to get these druggies clean. And he does whatever it takes- kidnapping, beating folks up for daring to try to run away, holding them against their will, cuffing or tying them up, stealing their clothes so they won't run away, dogpiling, injecting them with sedatives, switching out their drugs with something that will make them violently ill (also known as poisoning), turning their children against them, robbing them... anything. And he does this to non-violent adults for DARING to exercise their free will and getting high. The cops are, in order for the show to work, on his side. But he can say "I help people" all day long, that doesn't change what he is- a thug. And a thug who kidnaps and steals and poisons for money, which makes him a bagman. The Cleaner? The Fucking Bagman is what that show should be called.
The worst part is that my mom actually thinks this bagman is justified in his actions! Because drugs are just so awful that if you get high, you deserve to have your life destroyed by a stranger. *rolls eyes* That's 12-step brainwashing bullshit right there on display, no turning back now. Then she talks shit about Vic Mackey from The Shield for being a violent piece of shit, but at least the folks that Mackey beat up were, ya know, bad guys! Murderers, gang members, rapists, kidnappers, child molesters, cartel employees. Shit on toast, I hate William Banks (the character from The Cleaner) but the show is still very interesting, and plus I like to see the next illegal atrocity he commits on some guy minding his own business with a rock pipe or whatever. Fucking asshole.
Did I update my blog just to bitch about how much TV sucks? Yeah, I think I did. :) Oh well. I can say "from now on I will update more often" but that might be a lie, so I won't say it. Aren't those Jasmyne pics cute though?
Jasmyne! She is so chubby, looks like a bowling ball with little arms and legs and a fat face right on top. Today she's 9 months old and 19 pounds. She likes to climb up on EVERYTHING, including a glass door (which I didn't think she'd be able to do, but boy was I wrong) and likes to practice taking steps while holding shit or while someone holds her hands. She loves food, not the jars anymore but real food like everyone else eats. I cut little pieces of whatever and she makes a big mess putting them in her mouth. Her favorite foods: cheese (any kind, even disgusting cottage cheese), mushrooms (especially with spaghetti sauce), sweet potatoes, raisins, bread with marmalade or cheese, pizza, prunes, and mango.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

real quick

I went to Disneyworld and the baby had a great time. I will post pics soon. This is just a superquick update to let folks know that I have not given up on this blog. This weekend I'll start writing more regularly again. Also went other places too. Tons of fun. Lucas is staying the whole summer which is AWESOME!!!!!

Real quick: A search helicopter chased us away from the heap, there was chocolately earthy goodness and a floor too dirty to put the baby on. She learned how to boing boing boing and there's another tooth which she uses to eat Cheerios and pieces of fruit and cheese. No more tenant at Greg's house. I hate Super Smash Bros but love Donkey Kong. We stay higher than a telephone wire. That's about it for now.

Next up: pictures of Disneyworld!