I'm white and it's not my fault!

Today is my birthday, so I'm officially 23. Halfway over the hill, right? :) As a birthday gift to myself I am gonna post a bunch of my random uncalled-for opinions on here. Who knows, might even stir up some controversy since a lot of folks disagree with a lot of things I say. Remember where I am in society- I have many unpopular beliefs, some of which are based on current events and others which I've believed for years. So here are the opinions that kept me from being popular in both public and private school, and later:

1) War is sometimes necessary. Not always, but sometimes- no matter how many "no blood for oil" signs you wave while people are getting killed. Why are they getting killed? So we have oil (expensive as it may be). So that after the protest, you can get in your car and drive to your air-conditioned or heated house, filled with groceries that you could buy because a truck drove them to the air-conditioned store. Yes blood for oil. And don't tell me to go enlist- the military won't take my ass!

2) I hate when black people in America talk about reparations for slavery. Slavery happened, and it's been over for quite a while now (here, at least), and blacks need to get over it. No, it wasn't right for anyone to be bought and sold and forced to work for nothing but pitiful amounts of food and permission to sleep in a dirty barn- that's mad fucked up, and it shouldn't have happened. But ya know what? I'm white, and it's not my fault. It's not my family's fault either. Even KKK members and neo nazis- they may be full of hate, but slavery wasn't their fault either. Reparations mean that white folks who were never slave owners have to pay black folks who were never slaves. Not only that, but the reparations folk want us to believe that Whitey went on over to Africa and broke up all their little village freedom parties and kite-flying and decided they belonged to us. The black slaves brought to America were purchased from black African slave owners- they were already slaves before we got there! Wonder why that wasn't in our Black History books in junior high? Reparations supporters need to stop exploiting their ancestors very real suffering, seeing that they didn't even know what it was like. After all, the Jews were slaves first and you don't hear them asking for handouts- they got over it and made their own money!

3) Darwin's theory on the origin of species is bullshit. It's been disproven by it's own methods and everything, from the fossil record to evolution through random mutation. If all organisms came from a common ancestor, then there would be hundreds of fossils of transitional forms, such as a lizard with part of a jaw, or a snake with a partially-formed leg- but there are none. Darwin figured that all animals were formed by "genetic mutations" over millions and billions of years. One major hole in that- mutations in animals are almost always harmful instead of beneficial. How, for example, did some animals come to have wings? Why would an animal with one or two "partial" wings survive and pass on their altered genes to another generation? How could an animal possibly benefit from functionless wing bits? Stubby there is gonna die quick. Same problem with the formation of legs, arms, fingers, toes, mouths, and internal organs. Countless different biological processes work together within every life form- and it all happened by trial and error, that everything is here by mistake? Really? It's more logical to assume (I know there's no proof in this direction either, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense) that we were designed by an intelligent force of some sort. God, Allah, Jesus, that elephant with all the arms that the Hindus worship, Zeus, mother nature, the spirit world- choose your favorite name, but the idea stays the same. This world is too goddamn complicated to be random, and I don't have enough faith in Darwin to swallow that big of a lie, although many do. [side note: this is actually my pet argument so I shortened it a lot, since I could go on for hours about intelligent design (using arguments that DON'T come out of the bible!). If you want to debate this for real, email me at soflashelley@gmail.com]

4) The Fairness Doctrine is bullshit to the max. It sounds like someone's older brother had a later bedtime and they never got over it. Life isn't fair, and Democrats need to get that into their heads already. If you have money, your wants and needs come before the wants and needs of those with less money, and people with no money are last. Why? Because we are capitalists, not communists. Is it fair? Maybe not, but so what? It also wouldn't be fair if rich people are forced to put the poor folk first after working hard to get to the top.

5) Since black slogans like "black power" and "black brotherhood" are socially acceptable, then I should be able to use "white power" and "white brotherhood". If they are sooo proud to be black, then I should be just as proud to be white! But I think the whole concept of racial pride is pretty stupid. Are you proud to have green eyes instead of blue? You can't help what nationality your parents are, so why be proud of something you had no control over? I say, be happy to be black or white or latin or whatever, and save the pride for actual accomplishments instead of something you had no part in.

6) If cigarettes are legal and alcohol is legal, then marijuana should be legal too. Alcohol can kill you by itself, but the only way you can die from smoking pot is if you get really stoned and do something stupid (which of course, is more likely to happen while drinking than while toking up). Also it has more different medical uses than a lot of the "controlled substances" being sold by pharmaceutical companies. [side note: I'm not gonna diss "big pharm" because we Americans love our pills, and those corporate giants earned every penny]

7) If there is a law keeping tobacco companies from advertising their deliciously addictive products in most magazines and on TV, then we shouldn't have to read/listen to commercials on these same places urging us to quit smoking. They need to either allow propaganda from both sides or neither- we as Americans have the right to give ourselves emphysema and lung cancer if we damn well please.

8) Almost a continuation of the last point- there shouldn't be a seatbelt law for adults. Maybe for kids under 16 or 18 or whatever- fine, they have to buckle up because we gotta protect kids. But if a 30-year-old wants to fly through his own winsheild at 75 miles an hour- well, that's his business. It's not like driving drunk, where others can get hurt. If I don't wear a seatbelt and I get in an accident, the only person who is affected by my inertia is... me! Basically, I support American adults not being protected by themselves by the government or law enforcement. If I want to smoke pot, smoke 2 packs of Marlboro 100s a day, don't wear my seatbelt, kill a fifth of Captain Morgans, and drive a motorcycle without a helmet, that's my fucking problem!

9) Racism is just an excuse to act like an asshole and blame someone else. Why are there FAR more blacks and hispanics in prison than whites? Racist judges? Racist cops? My ass! Minorities earned their spots in prison just like anyone else.

10) BARACK OBAMA IS A SOCIALIST, and if he gets everything he wants, the US will be just like Cuba. He's a modern-day Robin Hood, railing against anyone with money and standing up for "the rights of the poor." If he hates the rich that much, then he must be one self-hating brother, huh? Socialists are famous for the "everyone should be equal except for me" philosophy, but we Americans should be able to see through it...

11) ...not that McCain is a much better choice. In fact, this election has brought us nothing but a parade of assholes. I'm proud to say I can't vote!

12) Prostitution is a gift to mankind, not a crime. Yeah, there are nasty hookers running around stealing and giving people oozing diseases, but that's because they are nasty theives (and probably crackheads), not because they are hookers. Guys who normally couldn't get any woman to sleep with them now have a choice between lots of women, who will take care of him with a smile... if the price is right. If a man wants to spend his entire paycheck taking a girl out to dinner and buying her things hoping to get laid, that's called dating- but dating is prostitution, only you don't always get what you pay for. We hos are just more straight up about it- forget all the shit in the middle, just give me the money and meet me in the bedroom, I'll buy my own dinner and whatever else. Plus, if a man thinks a girl is pretty enough to warrant a hundred bucks for a bj, who is gonna convince him otherwise? And why? Likewise, hos work long and hard (ha ha) for their money and we EARN every penny! Are you one of those really picky women, who would never dream of sleeping with an ugly weirdo? Well, you don't have to because hookers are doing it for you- we sleep with the men no one else will sleep with. So girls, go slip a hooker $50- you dodged a very ugly smelly bullet because of us.

I might try for more later, if I can come up with more opinions- and I'm pretty fucking sure I can!