the last 10 Joes that I fucked

My computer suddenly is doing this weird thing where everything on the monitor (type, pictures, etc) is bigger. I was typing in my other blog and it was the stupidest thing ever, the words were huge. It was like 3 times the size of the font I'm seeing now. Microsoft Word would call it... let's say 18. It was fuckin' big, and it annoyed me. I'm glad that Blogger still lets me type small. Not that the end results are any different...

I decided that if I'm gonna suck dick for a living, I'm gonna at least save some money. Ever since Greg went back to work (last Tuesday) I've had extra money due to Greg not taking it all. So far, from today and yesterday, I've saved $130. I'm gonna put at least $20 daily, cause it doesn't seem like much but hopefully it will add up quickly. Also, I'm cutting down on my dope usage because it's getting fucking ridiculous. I used to buy 5 bags of dope, go home at night, and be able to take a day off. That couldn't happen anymore, my fuckin' heroin use has escalated way past that. I have 9 bags right now, at 9:17pm and I might have to go back out tommorrow because I'm out.

Well, never completely out. I never run out of heroin, I always save at least one bag until I have more in my hand because I've been through the god damn ringer before because of that. Shooting my last bag cause I think I have more coming, and my connection craps out on me. In fact, the reason I have 9 is cause I bought 8 and I still had 2 saved from my last buy. Obviously I've done one since I made today's buy.

I got a free ride home, which is the best kind of ride home, from a trick whose name I didn't even know. I know him pretty well, it's just that names elude me. These guys who get all offended when I don't remember their names need to remember what I do for a living. I see guys. Hundreds of different guys with different names. In any given day I'll see 5-10 seperate guys, and that's 5-7 days a week. So I'm sorry, Joe, if I don't remember you among the last 10 Joes that I fucked. Same to Dan, Jeff, John, Bill, and Will. Sometimes weird names I'll remember but if you're a Latino guy named Jose or Juan, I will not remember your name next time I see you. End of story. I may be the only hooker you see but you are not the only customer I see. Greg says it's because I make guys feel important, like they are the only ones in my life. But that's part of my fucking JOB to make them feel important! GFE, or GirlFriend Experience. I just wish guys would stop getting pissed at me for not remembering their specific names. At least I remembered your face, all right? I didn't treat you like a complete stranger!

Today I hung around Dixie, but I didn't really work. Didn't feel like it, plus it was raining most of the time. I did spend a good 45 minutes by the wall behind the CVS at the corner of Forest Hill and Dixie Highway waiting on my dope dealer. He's such a big pain in the ass. "I'm just getting off I-95 now, at Forest Hill." Bitch prolly hadn't left his house yet, sittin' there playin' video games. It frustrates me to no end. Somehow I know that he will never find this blog online, hah!

Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
A way to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?

[[Korn-alone i break]]