another perfect opportunity

This morning I woke up before anyone else did- what a perfect excuse to do a shot. Then my mom went to church- another perfect opportunity to get off! Then, she and my dad and my brother and his friends went to the International House of Pancakes. leaving me alone in the house. So you can imagine what I did. Then about an hour after they all got back, my mom had to go to Publix. Back I went, into the bathroom since I had 7 shots left and I'm going out tommorow.

By that point, I was 4 shots of heroin into the day and it wasn't even 1pm. This is where I figure I need to slow the fuck down. My brain and body can't handle all the dope. I've spent the entire day (until about 715pm, when I finally got in the shower because my mom was having friends over for dinner) laying outside, smoking cigarettes, nodding out and dropping books on myself, and scratching various parts of my back and arms and legs and ass. I haven't done a shot since 1 and I'm still nodding and itching.

The friend my mom invited over is the mother of this black girl who was my best friend when we were about 10 or 11. I don't know if she wants her name printed here cause she might be embarrassed to have ever been a friend of mine ("Hey, you know that heroin-addicted whore who lives with her parents and has scars all over her body? She used to be my BEST FRIEND! Aren't you proud of me?") so I'll just call her C. Back then, the two of us were totally infatuated by that stupid sitcome Step by Step. I can't understand what I ever liked about it! It's not even good enough for Nick at Nite for Chrissake. Full House, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Roseanne, America's Funniest Home Videos, Boy Meets World, Growing Pains- they all made the NaN cut. Step by Step was just too stupid. I think they still might play one episode at noon on weekdays on ABC Family. When you're unemployed or working nights, you watch a lot of daytime TV and when you take away news and soaps (both of which bore me to fucking tears) you end up watching ABC Family. And lots of SpongeBob SquarePants.

...I can't lie. I love SpongeBob SquarePants. I TiVo the episodes and watch them after my last shot of the night and drift off to the voices of Patrick, Squidward, Mr Krabs, Plankton, Sandy Cheeks, and good ol' SpongeBob himself. I know I'm legallly and physically an adult, but I never claimed to be mature, did I? I would never make a claim that I couldn't back up. It's just not my style.

Well earlier today I attempted to write on my other blog, attempted being the key word. I was nodding like a mother. I kept almost dropping the keyboard and almost certainly drooled on it. I kept having to backspace because my hand would land on the keyboard as I nodded, leaving something like this: lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll only 3 or 4 rows longer. Finally I got sick of trying and sick of fixing typos so I named the post "too high to finish" and left the typos at the end. I think it ends something like "thou loooooh" but I'm not exactly sure. Some sort of nonsense. I need to go somewhere where I can do a shot without feeling rushed. I'm needin' one. After being high all day then suddenly I'm not, it doesn't feel too good at all.