...do I smoke what?

I'm dreamin' of a 90-degree Christmas... because that would be an improvement on how hot it is now. Here in glorious SoFla, the only way to have a white Christmas is to do a lot of cocaine. On that same note, I'm almost out of heroin. Well, I'm determined to have a good Christmas even if I can't have a "brown Christmas." Whatever. I got some decent gifts: a small TV with a game cube to hook up to it, an mp3 player which I am currently filling with shit from yahoo music (a total rip-off site which I don't recommend- they make you pay for a subscription and then you have to pay for individual downloads, what a crock of shit!), cash, candy, shower stuff, gift cards, pajamas, and a big ol' stuffed dog identical to the one I got on my first Christmas. Awwww, how sweet. Can't stop listening to Yahoo music, not actually downloading anything but I can listen for free, after paying the 'scrip fee of course. On to the story of last night...

I was at *Debbie's house last night, eating dinner with the fam and while I was outside smoking a cigarette I ran into a couple guys (walking a dog) who were H-O-T. I mean, lordy lordy they were attractive. I was silently admiring when one of the guys started talking to me.

"Hey girl, do I know you?"

No, I don't think so, what's your name?

"I'm *Brock, this is *Shawn. Do you smoke?"

Um, do I smoke what??

"Crack."

Are you serious?

"Naw, we're just fucking around. Do you want to smoke some fentanyl though?"

I didn't know you could smoke fentanyl...

"Come over, I live just a couple houses down."

So I went over, gave them a little striptease (which they immortalized on film) and smoked a couple fentanyl patches. Shit got me so high I got lost on the way back to *Debbie's (literally, 4 houses down). What a hot little duo they are. They got my number, hopefully they'll call again. What a slutty little dope fiend I am. I found these dark glasses yesterday on the sidewalk a couple houses down from my parent's house and love them, but the 'rents informed me that the glasses belonged to one of Lucas' friends, a kid named *Jake, and that I had to return them or else I would be stealing. Now, finding them on the sidewalk and refusing to return them to their rightful owner is not (by my loose moral standards) stealing. Stealing would be if I took them from his pocket, or grabbed 'em off the table from next to him while he was involved in an intense round of Magic: The Gathering. What I did isn't stealing. So fuck 'em. I'm not giving them back to this *Jake loser, now it's the principle of the thing. Now, I'll "lose" 'em in Lake Worth or step on 'em by "accident" before I return 'em to that kid. My mama wants me to go to the doctor just cause I have a huge swollen gland on one side of my throat. Whatever, I love antibiotics, they make me feel so-o-o-o healthy. Yeah. Listening to some old skool shit now, CRIMINAL by Eminem. Time to go blast off...

[names have NOT been changed... sorry guys]