Wednesday, December 13, 2006

day four, or oblivion is the only answer

No pills in me today. No meth or cocaine in me today. Not even any alcohol, like last night. Just pot. No opiates. Hating life. I am just counting down the minutes until I can get my ass to Lake Worth and taste the brown sugar. A group of friends want to go to Europe, would I be interested in going with? I'd have to be off dope, but... if I can do it, why not go? I have no ties to this south Florida bullshit besides the dope dealers. I mean, I'm just starting to see Micheal again, leaving could fuck that up because I don't think he's ready to go with me. I want to leave all by myself, go north somewhere (fuck Ft Laudy/Miami, that's the same as staying here) and try to stay high and sleep inside and make money in a whole new part of the world. I want to go to New York or fucking California or hell, even Georgia or Alabama would be a new adventure. I'm sick of fucking West Palm Beach. I'm sick of the same streets and the same people that I see every day, different names, but the same old bullshit. I have a feeling I'll see those same people in any city I go to in this country.

I need some heroin, plain and simple. If I can stay away from it, maybe I can move. If I return to the needle, I'm a homebody for however much longer. Oblivion is the only answer, even when there's no question being asked.

[i'm off to see the wizard]

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