No pills in me today. No meth or cocaine in me today. Not even any alcohol, like last night. Just pot. No opiates. Hating life. I am just counting down the minutes until I can get my ass to Lake Worth and taste the brown sugar. A group of friends want to go to Europe, would I be interested in going with? I'd have to be off dope, but... if I can do it, why not go? I have no ties to this south Florida bullshit besides the dope dealers. I mean, I'm just starting to see Micheal again, leaving could fuck that up because I don't think he's ready to go with me. I want to leave all by myself, go north somewhere (fuck Ft Laudy/Miami, that's the same as staying here) and try to stay high and sleep inside and make money in a whole new part of the world. I want to go to New York or fucking California or hell, even Georgia or Alabama would be a new adventure. I'm sick of fucking West Palm Beach. I'm sick of the same streets and the same people that I see every day, different names, but the same old bullshit. I have a feeling I'll see those same people in any city I go to in this country.
I need some heroin, plain and simple. If I can stay away from it, maybe I can move. If I return to the needle, I'm a homebody for however much longer. Oblivion is the only answer, even when there's no question being asked.
[i'm off to see the wizard]
4 months ago