Tuesday, September 23, 2008

a slow little munchkin

The baby shower at my church was amazing! I have never gotten so much damn stuff at once in my life, and I set up the baby's room which is also my room. I expected 10, maybe 15 women to show up with gifts but in reality it was more like 30. My mom loaded up the Ford Fusion with the gifts, filling the trunk, backseat, and front passenger seat to absolute capacity. I actually had to get a ride home from someone else because I didn't fit in the fucking car! That isn't including the crib which was delivered to my house along with the crib mattress, the stroller and car seat which were sent to my local Wal-Mart and was just picked up yesterday (my mom and I put the damn stroller together by ourselves, without the help of the menfolk- hooray for us!!), the high chair which was given a ride home in the car I had to ride in, and a shitload of stuff that was dropped off in my garage last week. It's freakin' incredible.

The reality is, I have SOOOO much baby crap that I ended up having to give some stuff away since there wasn't any room for it all! I kept the stuff I needed (of course) and then the stuff I really liked, then gathered all the stuff I didn't need/like/want along with the stuff I received *way* too much of and put it in a couple large bags. I gave the bags, which included 3 *huge* packs of disposable diapers which I won't need since I am totally determined to use washable cloth diapers exclusively, to my counselor at the methadone clinic, since she is also the counselor for all the chicks with babies under 1 year old. When I gave her the bag, she asked why I wasn't selling the stuff and I replied that it had been given to me for free and it wasn't right for me to then turn around and sell it for a profit. That earned me a weird look from her and then she told me that I was one of the only patients at the clinic to think like that. I guess I should take that as a compliment!

I guess I'll talk about Greggie- what can I say about him? Greg... well, how do I put this.... he is the best fucking boyfriend I could ever imagine having. We have had our arguments and problems like any other couple, but I have complete faith that he loves me and will do damnear anything for me. He's not just talk, he puts his money where his mouth is, and even if he didn't want kids at first (hell, neither did I) I know he is excited about the impending new munchkin. As long as I stay off the shit- which I don't have much of a choice about anyways, it's sober time for Michelle- he is right there by my side. I love my man Greggie with all of my heart and I'm always trying to find ways to show him how much I care. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know... and I already give great head so I need more creative suggestions than that, k? :)

This fuckin' baby is a slow little munchkin. She still hasn't been born yet which is *totally* gay- I am 4cm dilated and basically "all systems are go." The dr cannot fucking figure out why she is not being born! I tried walking,There is some very very good news though....

I AM BEING INDUCED ON
THURSDAY 9/25!!!

33 comments:

lilygirl said...

Wow I can't believe your 4 cm dilated and nothing is happening yet.....I wish I knew your dose then I could tell you a little of what to expect..I don't know how they do it in sofla, but in mass. after you have the baby they have a chart and keep watch of the baby to see how bad(if any)the withdrawel symptoms are...I was in the hospital for a month with mine...The highest amount of morphine she was on was .08 milligrams...but I know alot of people that end up going right home...So hopefully you will be one of those people...My baby was colicky for three months and they say thats commen in methadone babies...It was horrible nothing I did would stop her from crying, and then one day it was like she just popped out of it...Anyways I had alot more shit happen during my labor that was horrible but I don't want to freak you out :) So good luck hun, and hopefully you'll be able to take Jaz home right away and she won't withdrawel...Keep us updated and post some pics of her XOXO

Michelle said...

Apparently there is absolutely NO methadone in her body (at least thats what the amniocentesis test said) and therefore will have no withdrawal symptoms- hooray! My dose is 90mg/day though, if that helps anything...

Anonymous said...

But Greg is married. I don't get it.

Melody said...

Wow, the 25th huh, good luck sweetie, even though you don't need it, youre gonna be fine. Huge congrats on the clean amnio, mine was as well but some girls aren't so fortunate. I look forward to seeing pics of the lil darlin as soon as you can post em. Kisses, Melody

'nique said...

I'll have a thought for you when I'll be in class (UQAM, Montreal, Qc, Canada) bored and complaining that this class is gay. I'll be like "stupid moaner, Shelley's delivering a baby, now THAT is something painful to go through" Haha!

Take care of yourself and baby Jaz!

Michelle said...

"But Greg is married. I don't get it."

Wrong, mr anonymous... Greg *was* married, is now divorced, and is 100% MY MAN!!!

Anonymous said...

Thats great Michelle. Alot of people are so proud of you.
I want to ask you some questions that run through my head when reading your blog:
Does Greg live with you at your parents house?
Do your parents like him?
Is he the father? If not, then who is and will the be a part of Jazz's life?
I want to applaud you for being so open in your blog knowing what haters there are out there.
Good luck on Thursday and we ALL are looking forward to your little angel.
Take Care.
Marie

Anonymous said...

"Wrong, mr anonymous... Greg *was* married, is now divorced, and is 100% MY MAN!!!"

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Anonymous said...

"6 months from today, i will be completely off the methadone and NOT on heroin
the rest of my life???? that's so not cool to say to someone"

you are truly delusional. 6 months from now you will either be on mmt or back to being a full time junkie. don't kid yourself. ps- pretty sick that the kid's father is your 50 yr old pimp

Anonymous said...

Christ, there are a lot of small minded, mean and angry anonymous posters out there. That they have nothing better to do than take a shit in public says more about them than you michellee. You are real, you are the best, you gonna be alright. love, the rest of us.

Michelle said...

Yeah, having a baby with an older man who loves me and will do anything for me... that's some real sick shit huh? Jackass... :)

Anonymous said...

"Yeah, having a baby with an older man who loves me and will do anything for me... that's some real sick shit huh? Jackass... :)"

Yeah, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that your statement alone, Michelle, says a lot about your mind-set as an individual.

First off, I've known someone in your very position and their "pimp/boyfriend" whispered sweet-nothings in their ear and before the stitches were out of the cooch after delivery, the guy had his foot in her ass to get her back on the streets! You don't REALLY believe that this guy has anyone's best interest at heart, accept his own, when he's pretending to care for a kid that isn't even his! NOT TO MENTION, he doesn't have another chick (if it's true) to pay his bills so that means you get to work double-time!!!!

I question whether or not he's even divorced. If he is, this is record-timing for a separation/divorce in HISTORY!!!!!!!!!

Don't kid yourself kiddo, you are a dollar sign to him especially IF, and I actually question the validity in the statement, "I got me a divorce, let's go live in my truck"!

Bitch, please. If you accept this as truth in life, I've got some swamp land to sell you.

The only one who can set this straight, is YOU! Lose the bitch (pimp) and learn to live life for yourself, not to mention a fucked-in-the-head kid. Otherwise you are going to be back on the streets before you can even say, "Can someone hold my baby while I take a nap?".

WAKE UP!!!!! You are young enough, with a family who seems to back you, to make your life right, let alone this child who is bound to end up in foster care.

Tell me I'm lying. Tell me I'm lying.

Anonymous said...

And people question my decision of whether or not I want to have kids.

REALLY!?!

Why would I want to have kids to be brought up with children like yours who are bound to be fucked in the head.

Cocaine Princess said...

This much be an exciting time for you, MOM! I am so HAPPY. I wish you a safe and healthy delivery for you and your little munchkin. (Sept. 25 is a very precious day for me)

XOXOXOXO,
XOXOXOXO,
CP

Anonymous said...

Hey Gorgeous,
You look Great in all your pictures, exellent photography!!

Please do not respond to the hate comments, for they are not worthy of a response. These are just hate filled dingleberries, whom our incapble of saying anything of significants, they are to be ignored (to refrain from noticing of recognizing). In time they will decay like the garbage they our!!

I am so god damn proud of you. There is no need to do anything on my behalf, because you our already doing everything I could want from my woman, you our already the best there is, just keep on moving forward and being positive. I love you, Greggie

Anonymous said...

"Hey Gorgeous,
You look Great in all your pictures, exellent photography!!

Please do not respond to the hate comments, for they are not worthy of a response. These are just hate filled dingleberries, whom our incapble of saying anything of significants, they are to be ignored (to refrain from noticing of recognizing). In time they will decay like the garbage they our!!

I am so god damn proud of you. There is no need to do anything on my behalf, because you our already doing everything I could want from my woman, you our already the best there is, just keep on moving forward and being positive. I love you, Greggie"

Couldn't tell me I was lying though, could you now!?! And your mastery of the English language only reassures me of the validity of my statements. Why can't you look out for someone else's best interests other than your own, old man???

Leave her be! If you love her like you say, you will let her go! You know she's better off without you. She's got a family that backs her and actually shows her love. All you want to do is TAKE, TAKE, TAKE!!!!

I've got something you can take...a long walk off of a short pier.

I know my statements are harsh and unforgiving but there are reasons I am being so blunt.

You have the power, Michelle. Do right by the kid you are about to give birth to. Look out for HER best interests.

You are worth more than someone merely looking at you as a walking dollar sign. Deep down, you know I'm right.

Michelle said...

^^^
I won't say you're lying, because I think you really truly believe what you are saying. But I was taught to never ascribe to malice what can be attributed to ignorance. You're not a liar, you just have no idea what you're fucking talking about and that's okay. Deep down YOU think you're right, but I know better. How? Because, you know, I've actually lived my life and I've actually known Greg- and you haven't, that's fine. Talking about things you know nothing about doesn't get ya very far now does it Mr Anonymous? I can read your comments without flinching because they are so far off base that you end up sounding like a paranoid douche with an agenda. Then again, maybe you're not- I don't know you. So maybe we should both just keep our mouths shut about things we don't have a fucking clue about, hows that sound? All righty then!

shelley

Anonymous said...

Obviously I've touched on a nerve. I'm not trying to send you into early labor even though you get induced tomorrow.

You are right, I am a stranger. I don't know you from Adam but I'm only speaking through experience which seems to be such a novel concept these days.

Only time will tell and I truly hope I am wrong. I SINCERELY hope that a few years down the road, you can come back wagging your finger in my face proving me wrong and I will in turn, own up to my defeat.

Again, only time will tell. I just don't want it to be too late for you. I'm simply a random stranger trying to look out for another stranger. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. You will teach your daughter far more negative with that 'dingleberry' in your life than you would alone.

Remember, it's better to be alone for all of the right reasons than stay with someone for all of the wrong. Simply my two-cents.

I wish you well Michelle, even if you don't realize it now.

Anonymous said...

Hey Gorgeous,
It seems that you have an awful lot of saints (perfect humans) casting stones (spewing hatred).

America definitely needs more of these anonymous despicable scum’s, to bring up our standards.

On the other hand, you are more of a saint than they could ever hope to be. You have beaten the odds (which is an unbelievable feat in itself)!!! You are deserving of praise and admiration.

I consider myself blessed to have met you, and as time goes on, you amaze me more and more!! Greggie

Anonymous said...

Hey Gorgeous,
The reason why Michelle has a lot of haters, is simple, it's called jealousy, resentment torward another's success.

She is doing very well in conquering her demons!!!

Most of these angry filled dumb-asses, whom are spewing hatred, are just not capable of this achievement.

I pity these poor souls, for they do not know how ignorant they really our. We can only hope that ignorants is truely bliss and they are not suffering!! Greggie

Anonymous said...

Hey Gorgeous,

Please do not respond to the hate comments, for they are not worthy of a response.

These are just hate filled dingleberries, whom our incapble of saying anything of significant.

They are to be ignored (to refrain from noticing or recognizing).

In time they will decay (whither away) like the garbage they our!! Greggie

Anonymous said...

Wow Greg, there MUST be some truth in what I'm saying to get you to poke your head out of your rat-hole TWICE in one day to comment on my comments!

Casting stones, heh! Maybe I'm spewing truth and not hatred and that's what is getting under your skin the most! Maybe you are afraid I'm screwing up your game plan for after the kid comes out. Maybe, just maybe, you are afraid Michelle will start to think for herself. Hmmm? Can't imagine why it would affect you so much...oh wait, she's your meal ticket, I almost forgot.

Right now, the only difference I see between us, is that I'm the only one NOT pretending to be a saint.

You know you are doing wrong by her Greg, that's why you are coming here trying to silence me. I have nothing to gain from opening my mouth! The only person I truly care about in this situation is that unborn baby girl and how fucked up her mind is going to be watching her rock (Mother) be treated like a piece of useless trash, which she is far from!

Denial is not just a river in Egypt!

Maybe I feel more compelled than ever because she's due to be born in less than 24-hours.

And Michelle, you haven't 'beaten the odds' until you've kicked this piece of trash (Greg) to the curb!

User=Loser

History repeats itself, take hold of your OWN life before it's too late!

Anonymous said...

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DELIVERY AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

Michelle said...

Greg treats me like gold. Attack me all you want, but leave the man I love out of it. He has paid my way just as much as I have paid his way, because we are a TEAM and we like it like that. :) I wish you had a man in your life who loved you completely and totally, as I do, because if you did then that hatred (spiked with jealousy maybe?) you feel wouldn't be as intense. I hope that someday you can meet someone special and be as happy as I am with Greggie. Until then, don't hate just because I have and you don't! :) It's a little bit pathetic...

a (very!) happy sHeLLeY

Melody said...

Hi sweetheart, I'm not here to defend you because I know you are fully capable of defending yourself in fine style. I just want to mention that anyone who has been fortunate enough to get to know you knows exactly how much self-worth you have for yourself(tons).They know that you are a smart girl and they know how much love you have for Jaz. If Greg posed any kind of threat to you or your girls future happiness, he wouldn't be in your life, simple as that.
All my love and good wishes to you and Jaz tomorrow babe. XOXO, Melody

Anonymous said...

"Greg treats me like gold. Attack me all you want, but leave the man I love out of it. He has paid my way just as much as I have paid his way, because we are a TEAM and we like it like that. :) I wish you had a man in your life who loved you completely and totally, as I do, because if you did then that hatred (spiked with jealousy maybe?) you feel wouldn't be as intense. I hope that someday you can meet someone special and be as happy as I am with Greggie. Until then, don't hate just because I have and you don't! :) It's a little bit pathetic...

a (very!) happy sHeLLeY"

The difference between you and I, Michelle, is I don't NEED a man in my life! God gave me two feet of my very own to stand on and that's how I roll!

I prefer to post 'anonymously' as I'm not trying to self-promote my own blog like most of these fools. I tell it like it is and the truth hurts sometimes. All these fakes going "Yeah, I'm so proud of you! Your man loves you! Stop by and tell me 'hi'!", are merely looking for traffic. I'm only trying to look out for the unborn fetus in your belly.

I feel bad for you in a way that you've been 'blinded by love' but reality will smack you in the face, it's only a matter of time. His wife was the lucky one when she was smart enough to kick his ass out! Oh let me guess, he left on his own. You think you are better than his wife? You don't think he's bound to do the same to you, step out I mean?

I don't view my comments as spewing hatred or jealousy, unfortunately I trip over my own passion sometimes.

I hope you are right and I am wrong but again, only time will tell.

The only thing pathetic here girl, is your blindness. Abre su ojos!

Good luck, you are going to need it. Just don't let your bastard-child suffer because of your poor decisions. She's already got the odds stacked against her.

Melody said...

Douchebaggery!

Anonymous said...

"Where are the pics of the gifts Melody gave you?" - my question from the most recent post.

What's funny Melody is, I was actually asking this question on your behalf. Does it say something that she didn't immediately take pictures of the gifts you went out of your way to send her and post them so passionately the way she did her 'church group' or the blanket she crocheted herself? I'm just sayin'.

Michelle said...

^^^
Most of the stuff she sent me were baby clothing, and I will happily post a pic of the baby wearing the outfit that Melody sent, with major props to her, but I can't do that until there is a baby to put the clothes on. K?

shelley

Anonymous said...

"Most of the stuff she sent me were baby clothing, and I will happily post a pic of the baby wearing the outfit that Melody sent, with major props to her, but I can't do that until there is a baby to put the clothes on. K?

shelley"

Yet you posted pictures of things your baby can't use until she's born, right?

I rest my case.

Michelle said...

^^
tell me again why what i post on my blog is any of your business? oh wait... it's not.

shelley

Anonymous said...

"tell me again why what i post on my blog is any of your business? oh wait... it's not.

shelley"

But it is, because you posted it on the world-wide-web proclaiming that you are a self-admitted 'attention whore'.

YOU YOURSELF, made it my business and I refuse to turn a blind eye to a child that is in danger! PERIOD!

If what I am saying has no relevance, you wouldn't respond. Go ahead, I give you permission not to respond, as does everyone else. YOU ARE USING YOUR CHLD FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GAIN! Tell me I'm lying. Didn't have a good enough response to come back and tell me I was lying about Melody, right? At least to a believable point.

There MUST be some legitimacy in my words, otherwise I truly DOUBT that I would get some sort of response.

Again ... ABRE SU OJOS! Michelle, you are better than this. WAKE UP!

Melody said...

Occasionally I do things out of friendship, not for recognition. It's rare but it does happen. Shelley has mentioned the stuff I sent in numerous posts and comments so I have no doubt that she appreciates them. Even so, I sent them for her enjoyment and use and she can post them or not, her choice. I have too much love for that girl to nit pick over something so trivial and I believe some of the things we sent are in the pics, on the shelf, you just gotta know what you're looking for.