Monday, September 1, 2008

a little knowledge never hurt anyone

You know that I have no excuse for not updating? Ever? Seriously, I am online at least twice a day- reading and posting on my forums ["online communities"], reading my comments here and laughing about them, reading other blogs, looking at crazy websites, playing Boggle online (it's a very fun game and I am quite good at it, like Peggy from King of the Hill "ho-yeah!"), arguing politics with strangers... basically the virtual equivalent of twiddling my thumbs. But god forbid I update my blog! It just seems like a lot of work, although every time I start an update I enjoy it and then I blather on and on and on and on with no end in sight. I just need to start typing, ya know? I will attempt to update at least 3x a week so that my fans can enjoy and my haters can hate on a more regular basis. Once-a-week entertainment is not enough! :)

I will start with telling about the pictures, from top to bottom:
(1) me and Lucas at TGI Friday's in Gainesville, the last time I got to see him before dropping him off at his new apartment.
(2) Same as above, only with a steak knife.
(3) My big fat ass in my late grandmother's dress.
(4) Me and some of my homeless friends, One-Eyed Bob and Pier. Bob "ripped me off" for $30 back when I was a junkie, I kinda let him because he needed the money more than me, but the funny part is that the other day when I saw him he told me to be at his hangout on the first of the month (today, actually) and he would pay me back. Hah! If anyone believes that, I got some land in the Everglades to sell you. :) The girl, Pier, she and I looked out for each other in county jail and I kinda looked out for her on the street (meaning, I was the dope fairy). She is good people.
(5) 9 months and 164 pounds!!
(6) The food at my brother's going-away party, and my grandma at the end of the table. I think me and my bro were posing for another pic while this was being taken.

Anyways, the trip to Gainesville was fun. We seen Lucas' apartment (his very first apartment, my baby bro is growin' up sooooo fast!!!) me his roommates, who are carbon copies of the melvins he hangs with at home. They don't look alike, but everything else is pretty much identical! I told him that if he ever missed his friends, he could talk to his roommates with his eyes shut and call them Jake and Dan and Matt [aka the screamy one] and he'd never know the difference. At first he told me to shut up and stop being a bitch, but about a half hour later he admitted that yes, they are pretty much the same people. Then we went to TGI Fridays (as pictured) and dropped him back off at his new place- I gave him a big hug and he told me that he'd come home for a few days to meet his neice when she was born, and I didn't cry at all. But I miss that kid with all of my heart!! The house feels so fuckin' empty without him, and I have no one left to bicker with... : (
After dropping him off, my mom and I stayed at the student-union hotel and the next morning we stopped at the local 'done clinic for my guest-dose before heading north to High Springs. We went to Ichetucknee Springs [I had to look up how to spell that] which has a long cold river that folks can "float down" on a big water donut or other kind of floatie while the current pulls you. Depending on where you enter the springs, you can float for 3 hours, 1 1/2 hours, or half an hour. We chose the middle one, rented water donuts (some other people call them inner tubes, same thing) and jumped in the 72 degree water. Well, I jumped into the water, my mom just got into her water donut while I submerged myself, saying "I take showers colder than this!"
It was a LOT of fun! We saw a bunch of turtles and fishes and a great blue heron and got our floats stuck on logs and half-sunken trees. There were supposedly otters, but I didn't see any of those little guys. Somewhere along the way I managed to pull the muscles in my back, probably while twisting around in my float to either push my water donut off a log or look at a turtle or something, so that hurt like hell. It's a week later and it *still* hurts! But I'm still glad I went, and I'd do it again anytime.
On Wednesday I went to court for my shit (I've talked about it a lot on here, but if you really don't know what's going on click here: ) and the news wasn't good: 4 months house arrest or probation. Now I'm "seasoned" enough to know that probation means go to jail later (it's a fuckin' trap!!) so I'm not touching that with a 20-foot pole. House arrest... well, it can't be THAT bad, right? I'll have a new baby so I'll be spending most of my time at home with her anyways- I can bond with her, teach her how to swim in the pool, and work on my latest money-making scheme (it's legal!). Still, I'm gonna fight a little bit. The police report was nothing but lies lies LIES and I'm not down with that, I'm halfway through writing what really happened and it is up to them to prove the lies- such as, I didn't give a fuckin' statement! I will write more about this case as it progresses, as of now I have a continuance until after the munchkin is born.
I'm not gonna reply to all 30 comments because I'm going to a Labor Day picnic and also I straight-up don't feel like it, too much hate that doesn't deserve too much of a response. But I will answer a couple things: who is it that has nothing going on in their lives to the point where they just follow me around from forum to forum (and apparently in real life too) trying to catch me in lies? Let me break this to ya: I am not that fucking interesting. Seriously! Well to myself, and I *know* I'm interesting enough to gather readers and fans and haters, but I am really not fascinating to the point where you need to follow me around. That is called "stalking" and it really shows how little of a life you have. You really think you called me out there, didn't ya? Naming people I don't know, trying to sound like you're telling the truth. I don't know a Joe S, but if you say "where Tina used to stay" you obviously mean the 'old sleazeway' no? And P is the girl I am in the picture with above? Oh yeah she saw me, hell the pic proves that much. And she without a doubt recognized the vehicle I was traveling in, but not because it was a trick- because I used to convince that vehicle's operator to pull over and give her a ride all the time, even though he didn't trust her as far as he could throw her. Yeah, she recognized us, no doubt! : )
Oh and if you would tell me how to give "a toothless blowjob" when the only teeth that are missing are my wisdom teeth I would be capable of making more money if I decided to hit the block again- which I probably won't, but a little knowledge never hurt anyone, dig? Past tricks have told me that they pick up old crackwhores because they like the toothless bj's, something I am incapable of reproducing although my bj's are special in their own way, hah. I don't see myself back on the streets though, because I am actually enjoying being clean. Weird, huh? I can even stick with not smoking pot, now the only drugs I am taking are methadone and my prenatal vitamins, along with Tums and an occasional Extra-Strength Tylenol when my back starts to hurt. It feels good. I can't detox off the 'done because I plan on breast-feeding, but I'm kinda grateful for that because trying to come off while taking care of a newborn might be a little overwhelming and I don't want to fuck up. Hell, I won't fuck up! I can't wait for this kid to be born...


LilyGirl said...

Hun, I wouldn't detox off the methadone anyway, especially with a newborn..You would probably relapse...Believe me I'm not all for methadone but for you right now, you should stay on it even when you stop breast feeding(well depending how long you feed)...By the way you look soo pretty in the first pic, and the one in your late G's dress...I love them...Hey what dose are you on anyway??

Cocaine Princess said...

Hello Michelle,
I think your house arrest came I think at a great time. You're going to be soooo busy with your precious angel four months will fly by just like that! The pictures are great. You do look very pretty in the dress.
People who constantly leave you hate messages, they must not have a life if that's all they do all day. I hope you have a wonderful Labor Day. Stay safe but have fun at the same time.
One more thing, thanks for the compliment but I must know, why do you think I'm awesome?

Cocaine Princess

Cocaine Princess said...

PS. I think if anyone is awesome it's you. You've totally turned your life around, cleaned up, have taken responsibility and now you've been blessed with a little angel. I know you're getting impatient and wanting her to enter this world but I'm guessing she is just as inpatient too in meeting her mommy.
You're going to be a great mama!

jamie said...

I think you look great and very healthy too ! Im sooo proud of how your doing . Keep your head low , more storms comming your way .

carrida said...

I LOVE HIGH SPRINGS!!!! I highly recommend that you visit Lily Spring which is cared for by Naked Ed. Friendly nude or loinclothed dude who stays in a hut by Lily and loves company. He'll provide firewood to camp for something like 8 bucks a night. Yay No.Fla!

Anonymous said...

PIERANGELA RAIANI...what a treat...

Anonymous said...

ahhhh...and dear ole' ROBERT DENONCOUR "AKA" "One-eye-bob"...

Michelle said...

What was the point of that? They are street people, it's no secret that they've been to jail and I didn't lie about either name... just bored, huh?

Anonymous said...

Sorry to leave this Anon, but I can't remember my log in right now.

About your back, take it from someone who has been there and done that many times--get some Epsom salt, a big bag of it and put a lot of it in the tub and just soak in it. After a few times, it will make your back feel better and your skin will be really soft.

Fractalmom said...

Michelle, thanks for stopping by. We aren't against daughters on heroin, we are against heroin tearing up our daughters (and then our) lives.

I am proud that you decided to choose your child over heroin. Stay clean and celebrate the wonder that is a child!!

And feel free to stop by anytime.