nothing like a little near-OD to put you in that holiday spirit

Yesterday was a ton of fun. I got to talk to Micheal a lot but not see him, which was slightly gay. Those sons of bitches treat him like a prisoner! Hah! So I spent the day in Miami with my friend Jughead. I call him Jughead (which he hates, not that I care or anything) because of the character Jughead from the old-school Archie comics. He was always hungry and ate EVERYTHING and lots of it, kinda like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. That's like my friend Derrick so I call him Jughead, not always to his face though.



Unless I get drunk, which we did. First we went to Biscayne to cop some h (Jughead is a worse junky than me) which was so goddamn incredible that I could only do half a dimebag at a time and even then it was scary-good. The best heroin high is the one so fucking intense that you're terrified that you are seconds away from dropping dead on the floor, yes girl. Nothing like a little near-OD to put you in that holiday spirit. I walk the line, I walk the line. Then we smoked some pot (how unusual for me- hah!) and went to the liquor store, where we bought a 1.75L of Jack Daniels and a 12pack of Sam Adams (the best beer in America, hands down, no one else even comes close). We hung out on North Miami Beach all night getting drunk and stoned and hiding in the backseat of the car banging small amounts of the" DOA dope." DOA, for those who don't know, stands for dead on arrival. We started calling it that because Jug said that by the end of the night one of us would be DUI from the booze and the other would be DOA from the dope. Was he kidding? Was he kidding? I think just trying to make light of the seriousness.



Woke up this morning with neither booze nor dope, feeling like hell. We each lit a joint and walked down to the open-air market to get some brown and when we got back to the car and got right we realized that this shit was stronger than last time. Jughead did his half and passed out on his own steering wheel, unable to be woken up. Glory. I shot a quarter of mine and THAT shook me. I wandered around Bayside Park trying to clear my head (and killing time before Jughead woke from the nod) and came across an all-you-can eat breakfast buffet for only $6 apiece. I dragged Jug over there and his eyes opened when he smelled the food. As I said, the boy is an eating machine. He went back to the buffet 8 or 9 times with 2 full heaping platefuls each time. He'd have every hot buffet item on one plate with syrup and cheesy hash browns all over the whole mess, because as he liked to say, "fuck, it all ends up in the same place anyway." I went back to the buffet 3 times, but that was damn plenty. I had grits and corned beef hash and cheesy hash browns and scrambled eggs and a ham/cheese/onion omelet and pancakes and yogurt and 2 apple danishes and coffee and more than one helping of most of that. And look at me, calling someone else a pig!



We went back to North Beach to "shoot up in the lifeguard sand and go in the water, or whatever" in the words of Jughead. That goddamn ocean is freezing. It doesn't matter where I'm from originally, I am turning into SUCH a SoFla princess. Here it is, the middle of fucking December and 85 degrees outside and I'm in the beach tanning in my 2-piece swimsuit complaining about how cold the water is. It's not July anymore. Also the waves were surfworthy and kept smashing me into the rocky sand when I tried to swim. Not the best beach day, but the sun still felt good when we lay on his towels that had been in his trunk for god knowns how long. We were both at least two shots over the line and knew it, so we just went straight home. Well, we stopped twice to go through Burger King drive-thrus and once to eat at Pollo Tropical. They have FAJITAS now- glory hallelujah. I scraped my fucking plate after the fajitas were gone- I wish I could eat those things every day. Every goddamn day. But for Jughead, only 3 food stops is a non-stop trip.

We ran into a friend of mine and I split the last of my heroin with her because I knew I couldn't handle the whole rest of it but I wanted to run out. I really don't want to get myself stuck on that damn heroin again and I have a feeling it's a little too late because this is the 3rd day in a row completely blasted on opiates. FUCK!!! I really hope I don't get re-hooked. Shooting dope when I haven't had any for a while is awesome! The shit hits you in waves, like you start to come down a little then BOOSH, it's as if you did another shot but there's no need for another shot- it booshes you 6 or 7 times. Boosh boosh boosh, brown wall after brown wall. It doesn't work like that when you do it on the daily. That wave effect stops after about a week and a half of daily use, especially since most "daily" heroin users don't exactly use once daily. More like hourly or minute-ly. I guess I'll see how I feel in the morning. Right now I'm pretty lit between the h and the pot and the booze and the xanax and the hypoglycemia hunger making my diabetic ass dizzy. I've never actually been tested for diabetes, but I have all the symptoms and my family is always on my ass about getting the damn test. I guess it'd be easier to buy needles at pharmacies, no?

Today I ate something I was allergic to until I could actually feel my throat closing up. My breathing was getting fucked up and I forced myself to puke out all the garlic (even though I also lost my fajitas). It was scary, but hell. I didn't survive fatal overdoses, gunfights, homicidal tricks, car accidents, alcohol poisoning, knife standoffs, driving drunk, 18 months in juvy, cirrhosis, the roughest neighborhood in my home city, 4 surgeries, getting jumped, being married to Micheal and multiple suicide attempts to die at the hands of a bag of FUCKING GARLIC PRETZELS. I'm a survivor! Hells yes!

I'm now at Rob's house about to eat dinner. I miss my Greggie. I know Jughead has more dope, he bought at least 3 packs. Maybe I should give him a call... hmmmm. Oh hell I'm gonna be shooting $100 worth a day by fucking Christmas.

I hate Christmas... but that's a story for another day.

Good points- good friends, my public account vs my private account of the same situation, North Beach, DOA dope, waves and waves and waves and waves, no death by garlic, Pennywise the Clown saying "beep beep Richie", controlled drinking, Barbara Butts, no cocaine for my veins, Kimmy is a big liar, chicken dinner, wet sand, belt-whuppin, the whole damn internet!