I guess I can finish this tonight, so here's a "quickie." Greg was applying for a job and even passed the pee test, but there are extenuating circumstances and he won't be working there. That really sucks, man. I was all excited over him working, too. I'm not gonna write why cause it's his business, he told me but that's me not the whole internet. He wants to see me cause he's all upset. Hope he has a bag- no, no, I know he fucking doesn't. Plus if he's pissed the last thing he's gonna want to hear is that I'm a junkie and want to get high.
I woke up SICK this morning and didn't even do any h yesterday. I went with Greggie and we had "sober fun" cause he couldn't even smoke pot cause of the UA for the job. We went to the library and went online so he could see where he has been mentioned in my blog. There was one blog entry on here, from like 6 or 7 months ago, where it says "it's fucking Greg's fucking fault." He laughed for an hour at that. He was like, "I don't even know what happened, but apparently it was my fucking fault!"
Then I came to Rob's house, bought a 6pack of Sam Adams, drank. Rob got all pissy because I wouldn't fuck him, made me sleep on the couch. Jesus. I gotta get in the shower, there is a beer left, might have it.
I dunno what else I was gonna put. "I'll finish this later," I said. But really, what I put was pretty much it. Blah blah blah. I'm getting sick and tired of my dangblasted situation. There's always someone there telling me where and when and how to do everyfuckingthing. I miss having my own apartment, somewhere to stretch out and do as much dope as I want without someone yelling at me about I needa quit, or watch whatever I want on TV without someone telling me that they hate King of the Hill, or wake up at 630am without having to worry about waking anyone else up, OR wake up at 230pm without anyone having poked me all day. Shit. I need some space. I need some heroin. I need some space and some heroin, because the two go together. I don't like getting high with people watching me, and after doing it I like being able to nod and smoke and drool and pretty much do whatever I want. Nothing is illegal behind closed doors, ya know? I'm damn tired of people always there, blah blah blah, running their fucking mouths. Like the stupidity last night. I was like, "when you're done crying me a river, would you build yourself a bridge and get the FUCK over it?" I guess that wasn't very nice of me, but I never claimed to be nice! I am fair. But I can't take people thinking they are above me somehow, like I have to ask em for permission. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? That's what I thought, you ain't my daddy, now get the fuck outta my way.
Whatever. I can still enjoy the day, right? Argh, 99 problems like in that one song. I burned my fucking finger on the toaster. That was pretty gay. Had lunch at Wendy's today with Greg, that was fun... ummmmmmmm I guess that's long enough.
4 months ago