Friday, November 23, 2007

the parlance of prostitutes

Would you believe, I spent the last two weeks in county. I wasnt out for a damn week this time.

The real reason I was in there was because I possessed knowledge about a situation which I refused to tell police about (that's all the detail I'm giving). But it is a hell of an "arrest story" and I heard a comedian say once that when you're at a crossroads in life, always do what makes the better story. So now I will share my newest tale of wackyness.

OKAY, so I'm walking down US-1 when a cop pulls up (liutenant) and asks me, "are you working" which to those unfamiliar with the parlance of prostitutes means that he wants a date. I knew who he was, he used to bust my balls over at my old coke-copping place (I don't do coke no more) so I kept walking. Realizing that he's not gonna get me that way, he rolls back alongside me and says, "Michelle, we just wanna ask you a couple questions." and pulled out a set of cuffs. That's all I had to see, were those metal bracelets- I took off running like Dracula was attacking. Looking back I dunno why I ran- I was riding clean with no warrants even. So he jumps out of the unmarked and chases me and grabs me by my tanktop, ripping it mostly off then wrestles me to the ground. Then he tazered me in the stomach (I still have a scar, 2 weeks later) and yells "NO ONE RUNS FROM LAKE WORTH POLICE BITCH I'M THE GODDAMN LIUTENANT!!!" (btw I can't spell 'liutenant' from now on it will be Lt) But see, I already knew all of that. He cuffs me and thauls me in and writes up a ticket for "resisting arrest without violence" and says I have a court date on Dec 11 and I'm free to go on my merry way.


me: Okay, what do you wanna know?
Lt: [asks about a situation that I'm not stupid enough to post about]
me: Well... am I under arrest?
Lt: Damn straight you are.
me: Then don't I have the right to remain silent?
Lt: (all pissy now) No, you have the right to go straight to county
me: So what else is new?

So I went straight to county. That damn police pulled strings with the state, they are trying to give me 90 days (I'm out on bond right now) and when I pled not guilty the state fucking calendar-called me and my court date isn't until January. NOW do y'all believe me that L-Dub PD is riding my ass? I'm staying with a friend right now who made me an awesome Thanksgiving meal last night and even brought ciggies to the jail when he picked me up. I'm 75% detoxed but the dragon is still biting me...dunno what I'm gonna do. I guess I'll try to be good, but no promises. I've never been too good at being good.

Free all the hookers and pimps out the clink! -ICP

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