Saturday, September 22, 2007

sure as shit, there you are

I'm addicted to tattoos. No really. I don't know what it is about me and needles, but we just get along famously. I went to get the evil jack-o-lantern done on my (non-rose) ankle yesterday and Tat (the guy who does 'em for me) added a witches hat on its head and gave it red eyes. It's my favoritest tattoo of all. Next (probably today or tommorrow) I'm getting the heart on my back filled in to cover Micheal's name, it's gonna be pink with a black crack in it like a broken heart. Then he's putting big tribal wings from hip to hip on either side of it and adding a halo on top. It's gonna look fucking awesome. After that I want a horse or a unicorn with a mane made out of fire somewhere. And an infinity symbol on the back of my neck. And the first Joker's Card drawing (Carnival of Carnage) from the Insane Clown Posse CD but instead of saying ICP I want it to have my initials. Yeah, so many ideas for awesome tats! Any more ideas would be welcome...

I had to walk 8 blocks to get here to the library. 8 fucking blocks down Federal fucking Highway just to go online and screw around. Why did I have to walk 8 blocks to the library? Well, the downtown Lake Worth building that I was living in is getting "closed for repairs" (what really happened is my landlord puts all our rent money in his pocket and now the building is in foreclosure, hah) but out of all the people who are getting evicted, me and one other person were offered apartments at another building that he owns. Why us? Well, we're good tenants, we don't cause trouble, no traffic, both cute girls, and both pay CASH!!!!! No checks or credit cards from these chicks, and who doesn't love straight-up cash? I'm grateful I'll still have the same landlord because the cops came to the old building to get me thrown out (they don't like me living in Lake Worth, the fuckers) and my landlord said that he wasn't gonna kick me out, and that until I did something illegal (which I hadn't done in the month or so that I'd been there, at least not where the cameras can see) the cops couldn't tell him who he can or can't have living on HIS property. No one has ever stood up to the police for me like that! *swoon* I had to tell that same cop off on Dixie the other day. I was standing talking to my friend (who has the exact same don't-give-a-fuck attitude that I have so we get along poifect) when Officer Dan drives up in his unmarked and yells MICHELLE!

Officer Dan: "I'm sick of you acting stupid, like you don't know nothing about nothing although I'm sure you know more people in this town than I do and I've been working undercover here for 12 years. I told you I didn't want you living at [old building] and we come to bust that rock dealer there and sure as shit, there you are."

Me: "Well my landlord said I didn't have to move out cause I haven't done shit wrong. In fact, Lake Worth hasn't even seen me fuckin' JAYWALK in 8 months or so!"

Officer Dan: "I'm not somebody to play with. I'll make sure you take a ride for every needle I find in that purse of yours."

Me: "Let's make a deal. I serve 30 days for every needle you find in my purse, right now. But afterwards you gotta agree to leave me alone for the rest of the week."

Am I clean, or is it a good bluff? Either way it works! He drives away without searching me (after telling me to go on the West Palm Beach side of the bridge) which is cool cause I don't like anyone going through my stuff, badge or no badge. PS- I didn't have shit on me that time but I have bluffed before. As in, "HERE search my fucking bag, there's nothing in it I don't want you to see!" when I know for a fact there's 9 or 10 used needles and a cooker and a bunch of Valiums in a cigarette cellophane.

ANYWAYS, now I live on 8th which blows donkey nuts because I'm far from everything and I HATE THE SOUTH SIDE OF L-DUB!!!!!!!!!! It's all pimps and dope boys out here (dope boy = crack dealer, yech) oh yeah and mean ol' cops like Officer Dan. That bitch. I guess once I get to the library, I'm almost on the north side. North side 4 life, yo! I'm sorry my writing is so... ummmm, off today. I am HIGH as a KITE and I just might come to check you out. I'm also on my peroid which I get maybe twice a year and it still sucks!

Let me tell you, Kitty had a hard time moving. We had to put her in a cat cage and she scratched the shit out of me and then opened the cat cage latch herself. I thought you needed opposable thumbs to do that, but she did it. Then she opened a cupboard by swinging at the handle with her paw, climbed in, and hid. Kitty is a fuckin' genius.

Oh, and I don't have the clap. False alarm.


memphislisa5 said...

Glad to hear Kitty got moved, but you know cats are notorious for not liking change. But you already knew that, didn't you? lol Just a little friendly advice: Kitty has no one but you to depend on for her comfort, etc. You are her whole world. I know you love her Michelle. Is she spayed btw? There are low cost programs all over the place which will spay her and vaccinate her too for cheap or even free sometimes. Ok, Mama-'belle's gonna get off her soapbox.
Oh, and congrats on not having the clap!

CindyB1 said...

Glad you don't have the "C"! Kittys are resistant to change so she/he must be confused with all the moving. Take care!