Yes! I'm back!
Let me explain... I haven't been able to log into here for god damned ever. Lake Worth and Lantana library 'puters seem to have something against Blogger because it would take me to the login screen then when I typed in my password and whatnot, left it "loading" for the entire hour allotted to me. Fuck all that noise. I logged into my GMAIL first, then when I put in my url it automatically took me to the dashboard and I was all like hell yes. I like this better than JunkyLife cause it's more... what's the word... normal. JL is kewl, I gotta admit that, but sometimes it's better not to be set apart just cause of my habit. My entire life revolves around heroin- why do I have to blog on JL also? It's just another reminder. Hell, what am I talking about, I love blogging on JL. But this is my real home. And no, no one is paying me for my testimony. Ha ha.
So... I overdosed on heroin. That was fun. As I was waiting for my cousin to come pick me up and take me to Orlando, my girl came over with some heroin:
"Michelle, I just copped this stuff off [[you wouldn't know him anyway]], it is ridiculous, you gotta try it."
How can I say no to that face? Set me up, my quip is in the drawer.
"How much do you want? It's super strong, I did a pinky-nail-full and I'm balls to the mo-fuckin' wall. I wouldn't do a lot if I were you."
Gimme a break, Tara. I got way more of a tolerance than you. I do more dope than a rock star- I can handle it.
"It's my dope, and unless you feel like flipping me some cash I'm giving you how much I want to give you!"
Christ, have twenty. Set me up a big one.
"Kay, but don't say I didn't warn you!"
So I stuck myself and registered r-e-a-l quickly. "Awesome, I'm in on the first try!" I said to no one in particular, and that's the last thing I remember. Next thing I knew, it was 2 days later and I was in JFK hospital. Words started running through my head at random-
...gotta get out of here...
For those of you not from Florida, the Baker Act is a little something unique to the Sunshine State. It states that if you are (or someone believes you to be!) a danger to yourself or someone else, you are sent to the nearest locked mental health ward for up to 72 hours for a psychiatric evaluation. I've been BA'ed so many times they should call that shit the Michelle Act. I was NOT going back to South County Mental Health Center! Fuck that! So I left the hospital. Plus I was dopesick as I'd ever been and needed someone to give me a play.
The weekend got better after that. I pretty much continued getting high because "I won't make that mistake again!" or whatever. So the next week was just a crazed sequence of events that I'll just write down in no specific order. Mikey (crackhead Angela's man) got out of jail. Shane and Kim and I finally had a 3-way. [[some other dealer]] got chased by cops who knew he was coming and thought Shane set him up with the police so it made the headline of the Dixie Highway Daily CrackHead News (we wrote a letter to the editor, and they printed a retraction cause Shane hates cops more than I do). My stalker tried to break my door down. I fucked up my hand. I hung out with Chuck and his roomate shooting coke all night. I almost had to move AGAIN. Greg got fired and I tried to make him feel better with a meatball sub. [[another dealer]] is a total bitch and I don't understand why. Micheal hates the fuck out of me and still hasn't called. My cousin is super pissed at me for ditching her, even though I over dosed. I tried K for the first time and hated it. I have yellow shit leaking out of my arm. I think I have Herpes (in my mouth, nowhere else!!). I told Greg I loved him. My neighbor got arrested for selling crack. I met a new junkie and we want to be best friends but she shoots up in her neck-ew. I made a solemn promise never to shoot up in my neck.
Can you tell I'm high (hallucinogens? special K?) while I'm writing this?
[[...i feel ready to die but it's takin' so long; the world's so wicked, the world's so wrong; i keep holdin' on, keep tryin' to stay strong; the world's so wicked, the world's so wrong...]]
6 months ago