Saturday, April 12, 2008

recenter isn't even a real word

Here is an even recenter picture. I realize recenter isn't even a real word, but neither are "norther" "souther" "easter" or "wester" and I still enjoy using those in my writing and speech. If anyone has a problem with that... I don't really care. But anyways, this picture was taken this morning. My baby brother Lucas came home from UF for the weekend, and mostly he hangs out with his friends when he comes by our parents house. But I always ask him to please set aside at least an hour where me and him can chill, just the 2 of us, and he always does- unless our schedules are way conflicting, in which case I see the top of his head through his group of buddies and we promise each other that we will hang out next time. Last night is when he got here, but by the time he walked in most of his peeps were already at the house and more than half of 'em spent the night. He told me to wake him up at 8am (I dosed at 7 and got back from the clinic at 715, so I had plenty of time to feel ok before dragging his sleepy ass out from under his blankie) so me and him could go to Burger King for breakfast. We actually didn't leave until past 9am, between him being lazy and me needing a shower and both of us brushing our teeth. But we went to eat, and he even treated! I love my baby brother so gosh damn much (I heard someone say "gosh damn" on the radio and thought it was hilarious) and am always happy when he chooses to hang with me, even if it's only for a little bit. Anyways, he shaved the underside of his hair and dyed the top, and he looked so cute I asked if he'd be in a picture with me for my blog, since the most recent stuff I have is from the end of '07. I won't post someone's pic on here unless I have their permission, although I will write about anyone I want to write about (especially if they fuck with me or piss me off!). But, there you have it. An extremely recent pic, which of course doesn't look as good as the ones Greggie takes and crops and fixes in PhotoShop (he is an amateur photographer and damn proud of it- hooray for Greggie!) but hell, it's real right? Damn straight.
I don't have too much to say since last night. They upped my dose at the clinic without even telling me, much less asking me! I went up from 50mg to 60mg, although most people increase in increments of 5, pregant patients (like me) jump 10mg at a time. I just went to sign the dose sheet and see that it says 60 instead of 50, so I asked about it. The nurse told me that my counselor "S" had increased me yesterday after I left (thanks for letting me know, S) and that she wasn't here today and would I like to talk to someone else about it. I was like fuck it, if they upped me they must have a good reason- right? It's not like I went in there bitching. I know Greggie will read this and bitch... but that's nothing new. We bitch at one another constantly, and we still get along great. I think if you can't argue with someone, you don't care about them no matter what else you do. Because I won't argue with someone I don't care about- they can't really say anything that will make me passionate enough to start a debate. "You're a junkie!" "You need to quit smoking for the baby!" "You're a waste of skin and life!" "Dirty disease-ridden whore!" If it comes out the mouth of someone I don't care about, they can continue with the insults until their face turns blue. The only exception- if it's someone I have to deal with on a daily basis (ex: a co-worker, someone who I'm staying in the same house with, a neighbor) then I will take shots back. But that's only to prove I'm not a human punching bag, ya know?
I am down to half a pack of smokes per day. Used to smoke 2-3 packs a day, sometimes more. I also save the points from the Newport packs so I can cash the little cardboard buggers in for "Newport pleasure goods". I have about 600 of them so far (half of what I need) although most of the points aren't off packs I smoked. Most of them are found on the ground (wet or dry, I don't care, I can let them bitches dry) or given to me by other Newport smokers. In fact, any time I see anyone with a pack of 'ports I ask for the points, although I only rip off the UPC and maybe the "Ne" so their pack doesn't fall apart and the cigs don't get stale. Micheal says he will help me out with them- he smokes 3 packs of 'ports a day and promises to save me the empties. It's like when I lived at Holiday House (a motel in downtown L-Dub)- I asked one of my 'port-smoking neighbors to leave her empty packs in front of my door and she smoked a shitload so I'd come home every day to find between 2 and 5 empties of Newport Lights. Seriously- why bother with lights if you're lighting up 5 packs a fucking DAY?!? But me- I bought a carton on Sunday and just opened the fourth pack today. Seriously- tommorrow will be a straight week with 6 packs unopened. Not bad for a junkie, huh?
My ob-gyn appointment is on Wednesday- it will be my first with this new dr who I've been transferred to because I am "high risk" (I guess it's not hard to figure out why). I've gained almost 10 pounds since getting pregnant in late December/early January- crazy no? I went from a buck thirty to a buck forty. I'm not really showing yet (my stomach looks like I had a big lunch, not like I'm pregnant) but my tits are a whole cup size bigger and growing. Not that I'm complaining or anything. The pregnancy books all say I can't have sushi- that sucks! Sushi is one of my favorite gosh damn foods, especially the sashimi which is just the raw fish slabs without the rice underneath it (aka bait). I swear those stupid books are nothing but long lists of things you're not supposed to do. Well, it'll be over at some point- of course then I'll have a kid, and life will be much crazier, and there will be a different (but similar) list of taboo activities. Fun is fun, but what's done is done.
I love you all. More pics coming soon... hopefully.


Anonymous said...

I thought that was a pic of an aunt and your grandmother.....

Your brother has the hair of an 80 year old lady leaving the beauty parlor with a perm.

No offence but you looked much better/ younger on dope and thin.

Anonymous said...


taxitalk said...

you're new now, someone else, great picture, I quit taxi driving, I quit smoking for my son now all I need to stop using is the nicotine patch, fuck I can't go a day without one

Coke Addiction Kinda Sucks said...

Don't you just love it - the assholes leaving rude comments don't even have the balls to show who they are, lol. Anyway, you're still a cutie, and your bro seems like a cool dude. You both definitely look like Floridians, lol! I'm sure my Chicago-ass will acquire that look eventually:P

Anonymous said...

You want your ass to look like florida????

And who the fuck is laughing at what you said???? Either you are lying that your stupid comment made you laugh out loud, or you are a fucking retard who laughs at anything, even her own stupid comments.

You did not even tell a joke or spit a whitty comment. You were bitching about annon posts.... How is that funny???? Why would that make you laugh out loud???? Are you high??? Even high, I think your shit was stupid.

No wonder coke addiction sucks, it turns you into a babbling, giggling, drooling, fucktard.

You are the next antidrug ad...when they show what a dumbass coke will turn you into, what kid would wan to smoke the shit.

Anonymous said...

i have to admit, the laugh out loud rant made me laugh a little...on the outside. thanks for that! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh and you look very cute in the cat pic... Almost like an innocent High school girl doing her home work.

That top pic is just baddddddd. You have a cute face and I don't think 10 lbs is much.

I feel bad now, delete that top pic and put something else up.

Even the other pics of your brother are OK, that one just does not do justice.

Anonymous said...

if you click on the picture it opens up in a new window much bigger and clearer. Not sure if that is a good thing or not.

Anonymous said...

Much better pic when it not so distorted, I take it back.... You do not look heavy at all. In fact you can see a little of the prego glow in your cheeks.

The rest I stand by.

Anonymous said...

You look so innocent! If I saw you somewhere, I would never guess all that you have been through.

Anonymous said...

Yo your brothers a fuckin bird yo