Tuesday, March 18, 2008

a whack in the nose with a hair-care product

So I left where I was staying. The guy I was with started a long rant about how I never "show my feelings" and how I "don't care about anything including him". Hell, he's not wrong, it just got on my damn nerves. So I decided to leave, and I was attempting to pack up my shit when he gets about thisclose to my face screaming about "GO BACK AND DO YOUR DRUGS GO BACK TO GREGGIE HIT THE FUCKING STREET DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS" and I happened to be holding a bottle of leave-in hair conditioner in my hand and I was screaming STOP STOP SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP YELLING I'M LEAVING!!! and trying to back away from him. So I did what any woman would do in that situation. I whacked him in the nose with the conditioner, making it bleed. Then he thumped me in the head, which hurt but also amused the hell out of me because he likes to go on for hours and hours and hours about how he's a "real man" and "real men never hit women, even if the woman hits them first. Hah! All it takes is a whack to the nose with a hair-care product to turn him from a "real man" into an sniveling adolescent boy. Fucking clown shoes.

As a result of this, I really didn't have time to pack my shit (hell, I walked out of there barefoot cause he refused to give me my shoes) so I pretty much lost most of my possessions. I'm back with Greggie, who said he will help me only if I stay clean. I haven't been doing TOO bad a job of that, I'm not exactly "living sober" but I'm not addicted to heroin anymore and that's a hell of a start. I'm not doing any more coke, either- sure it was fun. But that shit gets old, especially when you run out and your veins are thumpin' for more. Yyyyeeeaaahhh that sucks. So, no more coke. I still smoke tons of weed and take valium or muscle relaxers when I'm feeling really shitty (not daily with these, cause I know benzos are addictive too) but yeah. Soon I'll cut everything out- but right now I'm not strong enough. If the cravings start kicking my ass and I don't have a v to pop or a blunt to smoke, I will search out a bag of dope. And that's exactly what I don't want. Shittin' me. I've gone through too much pain, too much sickness, and too much of Bobby's bullshit to go back to the spike. I would've suffered for a month FOR NOTHING if I went back. No turning back, nigga!

So I guess I'm gonna look for a job today, a real job. Can't be that fucking hard, I've done it before. I no longer have internet access in the crib and have to go to the library (not like this is a new thing for me). I am starting a new life, and probably a new blog over on LiveJournal, I'm not sure if I'm gonna do that project or not but it helps to stay busy when you're feeling too irritable to talk to other people.

I nearly got a month off heroin- no turning back, no turning back.

Oh by the way- as I was leaving Bob threatened to call the police on me for a used needle that was in his house. Get it? The needle is in his house. I, on the other hand, am way down the fucking street (plus I rinse my rigs so there's no blood in 'em). Possession is 9/10ths of the law, mothafukka!


Anonymous said...

what a pussy

Anonymous said...

Keep on keepin' on....

jamillia said...

ha....if i had a nickel for every idiot i gave a bloody nose, i'd never be sober again....

you are doing the best you can right now, which alot more than i can say for most people. not sticking yourself is huge. don't forget that.

CindyB1 said...

Good Good Good! No H!!!!! Keep doing good. You CAN do it!!!!!

Cocaine Princess said...

I commend you on you kicking the heroin habit and I wish you continued success. You sound so fierce and strong- I like that!! Please do keep in touch, I really like your writing.
Cocaine Princess

Victoria said...

Haha sounds like he deserved it! And many men will be like "OH I NEVER WOULD HIT A WOMAN I'M NOT LIKE THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH" but if you give them a good hit in the face, watch how fast they go back on their word! Hahaha.

Good luck on your search for a (real) job! And good luck staying off dope! You can do it ;)

heatherrreloise said...

What a fucking dick.
'Real Man' my ass.

Anyway, I am proud of how long you have kept off the heroin.
(did i spell that right? ... spell check says so ...)

But you should keep your blog on here. I like reading it.
(even if i am behind because of my trip to Florida)

=] looking forward to more post and more clean days!

Anonymous said...

This is from Michelle's boyfriend, Yes, people like her and she has friends, and this comments goes specifically out to Bobby !!!
I am not a violent person, but I will tell you this, that if you come with in fifty, feet of my girlfriend, that I will personally break your right leg in two, at the knee, and your bald head will turn grey in a matter of seconds. This is in no way a threat, it is a promise from me to you.
Another thing for you to chew on, I am not one to notify the police, for the simple fact that they don't need my help and I believe that sometimes they can have there personal problem which can inpair there judgement (they are human too). But in this case, I will inform them of all your wheeling and dealing.
Three more things, stop harrassing my girl by phone, she needs no help from you and give her belongings to her family or we will be making a trade, her things for your things being shoveled down your mouth, just like you threated her to do with her belongings, you fucken clown.
Good luck on your trip, it's not soon enough for me, no reply is necessary.

CindyB1 said...

Get him Greg!

sKILLz said...

Glad to hear that your clean. I know how hard it is and you need to keep busy. A job would help of course but sometimes its just mad hard getting one.
This Bob dude seems like a real fucking dick. If he was a "real man" like he claimed then he would have never hit you, and given you your shit. dont sweat it! Fuck him go get yours!