Wednesday, August 8, 2007

i loved that phone

My phone got ripped off today. It made me realize how little I have, and how much I love the fucking things I do have. I loved that phone. It had all my numbers on it, and all my dates and dealers and friends and family knew me at that number. Now some piece of shit has it. I know where his girlfriend and kids live, and I'm gonna go shoot out all his windows with fucking paintballs. I may never see my phone again, but he won't make any money off it either. He'll have to spend his phone-stealing profits fixing his house. Stupid fucking cunt!!!

I am so depressed. I wake up dopesick enough to wish death on myself every morning and get that way again quicker and quicker each day. I can't do anything about it. I want to die..


dharmabum said...

You don't who i am, and i for sure dont know you. Well in a way i do. can either think hard on this, or just think i am some old junkie trying to validate myself by giving advice. Either way here it is:
Make the decision if you would rather be high or be straight. Me myself, I choose to be high.

Once you figure out that part of yourself...well you get a grip. You don't ever wake up without a wake up. You dont let the shit make you lose common sense because your high. You can be high and not blow your money. I dont know. Maybe i was lucky to make myself do that. But, i do it, so i know it is possible. It dont mean i am anything special. I got real fucked up days. Like today. I could eat pills and do up shit all day and night. It will not make the bad feeling go away. I hope you can tell i am telling you someting good.

You write good.

Joe said...

Hey Mich..
dharmabum is right. You have to decide what you want to do.. not for your whole life mind you, but for now and make it so that you can live the way you want to. If you are gonna keep getting high on a daily basis then you need to make sure you ALWAYS have something to get off E. With the cash you are makin you should be able to keep a wake up shot for yourslef every day... I am good at giving advice but not at taking it myself. I am still "chipping" and also on Suboxone, using like once or twice a week. It really kinda sucks but I love the feeling when that fucking rush hits you.. YEA!! haha! Anyways.. hope you get your phone back. Also, you can still keep your number even if you get a new phone so at least people will have your number... Good Luck ! Boston Joe..