I'll go out there and be the best rasist I can be

I don't know what to do about my brother's friends. I was outside this morning crying on the phone to Greggie because I am so frustrated and no one listens to a word I fucking say on this issue. My parents are no help, as he is the favorite kid (although there is no question that he earned his status as the favorite and I sho nuff earned my status as the fuck-up) and they are loath to correct him on anything. But I will get reamed out for the same things that his friends do with no consequences- and they don't even live here.

Every day and night, they are here- my brother Lucas's friends. The wankers, the melvins, those loud little pricks, the invaders. And as much as I love Lucas (and I do!!), I seriously hate his friends. I don't hate them as individuals, I just hate everything they do. They devour my food and sodas and then leave the wrappers/empties laying around on the counter or the floor. Occasionally they leave full containers out of the fridge overnight, such as milk and cheese that I payed for. One idiot (who I call "the screamy one" because he has no concept of talking at a normal volume) left the fridge wide open. I called him out, and he apologized and returned to the fridge to get out a gallon of milk, the Hershey's syrup, and a cup. He shut the fridge that second time, I'll at least give him that. But the milk and the syrup stayed on the counter alongside his empty milk cup. Lazy little shit...

It's not just food and empties that they leave all over the house. Magic the Gathering/World of Warcraft cards, video games, dice, assorted Dungeons + Dragons paraphernalia, books, cellphones, and *cords* litter the floors, couches, chairs, tables, and pathways. I've tried everything to get them to pick up after themselves- asked nicely, asked my parents to tell them, piling all the crap (including spoiled food, dishes, and dirty drawers) on my little bro's pillow, kicking their stuff into corners, threatening violence, hiding anything I trip over, and lately threatening to throw their stuff away if my foot hits it. There has been absolutely NO improvement, and my parents don't seem to care one way or another. "It's between you and Lucas," they say. So I took matters into my own hands.

Last night, there were Playstation and Wii cords allllll over the floor, pretty much spread out taut in places where folks walk. I told Lucas and his boys that if I tripped over a cord because some little asswipe was too occupied with his warlock casting spells or whatever to wrap it up and put it away, it was going in the garbage. I guess they figured it was an empty threat, because I woke up early this morning to go pee and guess what? I tripped over a fucking controller cord- actually 2 Playstation (or maybe X-box?) controller cords wrapped together- and banged into the wall, hurting my knee. Those little fuckers (who at that point were sprawled all over the floor and couches after turning the blasted thermostat way up because they were too lazy to find a damn blanket). So I unplugged both controllers from the game system, wrapped 'em up, and put those SOBs in my purse. I threw them away in a dumpster in Lake Clarke Shores. Hell- I warned the little shits, didn't I? Cords all over the ground are a safety issue, and I'm 32 weeks pregnant so if I trip over their crap and fall, it could jeopardize the health of my kid. Me and my little Jaz are more important than his stupid video game controllers. According to Greg, the dumpster I tossed 'em in has already been emptied. Good.

The worst part of all this is that I am forced to take the "disciplinarian" role, which I fucking despise. I've NEVER played the party pooper, and the last thing I want is for my little brother to think and/or say, "Oh great, Michelle's home- fun's over, guys!" I love Lucas to death and I don't want him resenting me. But it's gotten out of hand!! My parents have a pretty strong double standard going for us. I play music quietly at the computer, our folks shut me down. Lucas & Co play music loudly over by the TV (5 feet away from the 'puter, if that matters), no one says a word. More than once I've been woken up at 3am after falling asleep on the sofa and told to go to my bed because "you have your own room and you can't sleep here." Lucas has spent consecutive nights on the couch (along with his boys, who according to my folks need to be gone by midnight- not that they enforce any rules they make for the star of the family).

Why isn't he in his room? Because his bed isn't made- seriously. Why isn't his bed made? Because he asked me to wash his sheets for him, and I did, and I put them in the dryer and when they finished drying I piled his sheets and pillowcases on his bed and then told him that his sheets were clean and dry and waiting for him on the bed. That was 3 days ago, and his sheets are still in the same pile in the same corner. Lazy little turd. I don't mind helping him out, but it's not that hard to make his bed- it's 2 sheets, 2 pillows, and blanket- and yet he seems to be incapable. Jesus wept.

In addition to kids all over the couch, one asshole (the screamy one again, I think his name is Matt) was sprawled on the floor. Directly in the only path to the bedrooms and the bathroom. I've really had enough of these little fucks, but I don't know what to do about it! My parents don't enforce any rules they make, they don't listen to me, they have no respect and no attention span, they leave messes, they make too much noise, they hog the computer and TV at the same time, and refuse to leave even when Lucas isn't home. Let's see if having to replace their oh-so-precious video game controllers gets their attention...

SeLeCtEd rEpLiEzZ:

"Hey, had some stuff shipped to you today, hope you like it. XOXO Melody"

Thanks so much baby! Me and the soon-to-be munchkin sho nuff appreciate your generosity :)

"I think that if you told your N.A. meeting that you were on methadone they would be much more understanding that you're trying to portray. Do you think you're the first heroin addict thats walked through the door? Please. I've attended NA off and on for a long time while on suboxone maintenance, and they were fine with it. There were plenty of others at the meetings that were on methadone or suboxone and again, there was no judgement. So it's not your thing... no reason to be so negative towards a method of getting clean that has helped countless people."

I did say that I was on MMT (methadone maintenance treatment, for those who are unfamiliar) at the meeting, and I heard from many that "being on methadone doesn't count as clean time." Of course I'm not the only heroin addict there- I'm probably not the only person being told off there either. NA is like many other organizations in the fact that they are not judgemental- as long as you agree with everything they believe. They state opinions as facts, and I'm not down with that. Addiction as a disease? That hasn't been proven, so although there is a lot of evidence for BOTH sides, it is still nothing but an OPINION or perhaps an educated guess. You say there's "no reason to be negative towards a method of getting clean that has helped countless people"? I can be negative about anything I want- that's one of the great things about having my own blog. And you, of course, are free to disagree with me. The NAzis are quite negative against MMT, which has also given many people their lives back. I say that it doesn't matter WHAT your crutch is (and NA is just as much of a crutch as MMT), what matters is that the day ends and you haven't put needles in your skin or a crackpipe between your lips. Right?? Damn straight! But I do have to give you mad props! You straight-up disagree with what I say, and yet you didn't attack my character and call me a retarded whore (or whatever). Instead you wrote your opinion. That is awesome!! Controversy makes the world go 'round.

"it's always been my understanding that the owner of this blog supports free speech if not encourages it, even when people don't agree with her."

You're goddamn right on that note!

"OF CORSE WHITE TRASH LIKE U WOULD HAVE STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS ON YR SITE WHAT DO U KNOW ABOUT BEING A SLAVE STUPID RASIST BITCH??????"

I've never been called a "rasist" before- I'll just take it as a compliment. So thanks, I'll go out there and be the best rasist I can be! And I know just as much about being a slave as you do- sounds about right? I know a lot about what is funny though, and that slavery thing was funny!

"I am a racist , I know another rasist when i see one , she isnt a racist . She isnt even a wannabe racist , nor poser skinhead . She even strikes me a someone who has shared her money/food/drugs with mixed blood people !"

Yeah, I've hooked "mixed blood people" up all the time. When I worked the streets, I even dated Mexicans and other hispanics! Whooooo!

"I think that ihatethosewhodance needs to remember that there is not one race that has not been subject to slavery at one time or another. "

You know what's funny about that? The picture I put up isn't even about black slavery, it's a picture of the pyramids of Egypt so technically if it's racist (or is it rasist??) then it's against JEWS, not blacks. Yep, all races have been slaves- damn straight. But no American in 2008 can talk about slavery as if they know something. Cause none of us know shit!