Wednesday, June 4, 2008

whatever bats have in place of blood

<---- alpaca

This will be short and sweet- I just wanted to write about the alpacas (I looked that word up, so yes I am spelling it right). The alpaca pictured over there is NOT one of the ones I saw, I found it online. So don't start with the "you didn't see any animals, you just got that pic off Google you liar!" Greg did take some pics though, which will be up later.

Anyway, an old friend/acquaintance of Greg's owns an alpaca farm, and a big dog jumped over the fence and killed one of 'em. That must suck, since dogs naturally go for the throat to kill another animal and those poor bastards are all neck. So, Greg has been asked to help build a new fence for the alpacas, to protect 'em. He went over yesterday to Loxahatchee to look at the fence and give his professional opinion, and I got to come with. Alpacas are like llamas and kinda like goats- they are cute as all hell. Folks buy and sell them for their fur, which (I think?) is close to cashmere. There was an awkward-looking baby alpaca, and a caretaker was in their yard hosing them all down so they didn't overheat. They refused to let me touch 'em at all, but I finally stood still long enough with my hand through the fence so the male came up and sniffed me- then I petted his head real quick before he could run. He made a moaning noise and backed away from the fence. I guess I outsmarted an alpaca- what an accomplishment, right? : )

Also, the bat-house. I live with my parents, and my mom likes bats an awful lot so she bought an artificial bat habitat (we just call it the bat-house or simply "the bats" as in, "what's going on over there in the bats?") which is on the side of the house and currently houses (according to mama) 50+ bats. I've gone outside right after the sun goes down to try to see them, since they fly away to get food around that time, but I either miss all of them or I see dark shadows flitting away. Those fucks are way too fast to see, or to catch on camera (one time Greggie sat out there with his camera set to "no-flash night vision" for over an hour just to take a picture of absolutely fucking nothing, hah!).

Today my mom went outside to clean the guano and found a dead baby bat lying under the bat-house while the rest of the bats carried on loudly- uncharacteristically loud for the fact that it was 930 in the morning. We think they were mourning the dead baby bat. That could be anthropomorphizing, but they are mammals so who knows, right? My mom came inside and asked everyone in the house (dad, brother Lucas, this other kid Travis, and I even called Greg on the phone and asked if he wanted me to take a picture) if they wanted to see it. The baby bat wasn't squished or gross in any way, no guts or brains or whatever bats have in place of blood squirting out- it was recently dead. No one wanted to see it! Except me and my mom, everyone was too sicked out to look. Buncha pussies : )

That's it! My parents are BOTH leaving on a trip today, not back till the weekend- leaving just me and my college-age brother. Nice, huh? We will have fun...
^^the website for the alpaca farm I visited- it says they moved to CA, but I saw the damn things down here so I dunno...

selected replies
"i dont beleive any thing you say"
Finally... someone consistent. At least this I can respect.
"What you resent is that you're being forced to be responsible for the first time in your life, and that scares you."
I think that's a pretty good point- I've never even acted responsible for myself, much less anyone else. Mostly because I never had to. But yeah, quite true. I guess I'll get over it, right?
"Can you link my blog Shel?"
I will when it has more content. No offense there babe, but you got 2 entries 2 years apart. You know your first post is 2 days after my first post? Keep on writing, I'll link to it when it's more fuller (yes, I know I didn't just grammar good).
nice job in limiting your cigs to three??!! Are you serious??
Today I smoked only 1 1/2. Think it's easy to quit? I been smoking cigs for over 10 fucking years, since before I even heard of heroin.
"There's no way in hell you're going to not go back to being a junkie whore as soon as it's born. The kid will be left with your parents before it's a week old. I guarantee it."
It's funny how the hate evolves as my situation changes. First, they say that I wasn't really pregnant, I was just lying because I wanted attention. When that got retarded, it was all about how I'd never be able to stop doing heroin and coke and pills and shit while I was pregnant and how I was gonna get shot on the streets, etc. But wow, I have stopped. I got ONE slip in over 4 months now- more than ANYONE expected of me. Now I'll never be able to STAY stopped after the kid is born. I'm breastfeeding, so at first I don't really have a choice, just like now. And you with your "I guarantee it" probably guaranteed I wouldn't stop in the first place. You can take your predictions and stick 'em real far up that dusty caverous snatch of yours, if you're a guy you can shove them up your tiny dickhole because I have done what no one, including me, thought I could do. And I will continue to do it. So fuck you!


Anonymous said...

Ahhh, the alpacas are cute.

We have bats in GA too, but we don't have a bat house. Hmmm, I will have to look into that. They eat mosquitos.

Are you starting to buy baby stuff, or is it too soon?


Anonymous said...

Oh Michelle, I adore you, I think you are so funny and SMART. And a smart-ass - but it's so refreshing. You are going to make a great mom, you are making such selfless decisions that will make a happy and healthy life for you and Jaz.
I've been reading YOUR BLOG for a long time and from what I could tell, without really knowing you, I've always liked you, even when you were using and tricking. I'm not a judgemental person - I could tell you were witty and smart, even doped up. Take care of you and Jaz, I know you will. Adore you! Amy

Anonymous said...


shelley said...

libby reads this... i bet she'll answer ya

Anonymous said...

Nope, my husband's name is not Terry.

Want to hear something funnny?

I live in Cumming, GA.

Anonymous said...

Why is it you only respond to the people that leave you negative posts. All the people that wish you well you never take the time to respond to them. Is it only worth it to you when there is drama inloved?

Anonymous said...


Neely said...

alpacas are radical man, my best friend in a city i lived in's parents owned alpacas and get this- they were like supermodel alpacas. yeah, they were ones used for tv ads and movies and all that shite! gnarly, right?

Cocaine Princess said...

I've been catching up on your posts and I can never get bored reading your entries. You're having a baby girl, congratulations of having a princess-to-be. I know she'll be beautiful just like you. You look ravishing in your pregnancy. I wish you a safe and healthy delivery for you and your princess. Stay safe and healthy sweetness.

Cocaine Princess

Anonymous said...

what about the father? Is he happy?

Anonymous said...

Post a picture of your ultra sound..the way i see it there is only one way to prove that your not totally full of it..just kidding. Can you post one, though. I'd really like to see it. I knew you for a minute but have been entertined by your writing for like a year and a half. post it yo.

Cocaine Princess said...

Sweetest Michelle,
Thanks so much for the comment you left on my last entry, the bus ride pt1. I could NEVER tire of your blog and you don't babble! Your comments are the ones I look most forward to.

The names you have picked for your girl, Jazzy, beautiful. You know what the first names that came to me for for your baby girl, and I don't know why but it was these names:

Summer and Autumn

Can't explain why. Do me a favor, stay very safe and healthy, you're carrying a precious miracle, a princess to be! Give the precious bundle kisses from me.

Cocaine Princess

Cocaine Princess said...

PS. You will be an awesome mom no doubt! I have real good instincts so I know.

Victoria said...

Awww, I've never seen or heard of an alpaca before, but they're really cute!! Bats freak me out, though...

And I love the name that you've chosen for your little girl! It's so pretty. I understand that you're feeling a little resentment about being pregnant (that's common for pregnancies that aren't planned), but I'm sure all of that will change as soon as you hold your baby girl for the first time. It's normal to be filled with all sorts of different feelings during pregnancy.

Thanks so much for your comments on my blog about my relationship with Mike. I want to leave him so bad because of how he treats me and lies to me, but it's so hard! Everytime I break up with him and tell him "I'm done," I always change my mind a day or two later! Ugh. I need to be stronger because I know that I can do better... it's so damn difficult.

Love you ♥

Anonymous said...

this blog is the best one have run accross. Much love from Seattle..

Anonymous said...


i just wanna tell you, i like your blog. you write in in a funny way with a lot of (sometimes black) humour and no self-pity at all.
i hate all the self-pity in other's junkies blogs ("uhhh, look at me, i have such a bad time with the life i have chosen for myself and am not willing to quit").
apart from that you even have a lot of funny/interesting/good anecdotes to tell, that might be true for a lot of people living on 'wild side' - but not everyone is gifted to put it in funny and readable form.

just think about your kid, though. living that kind of life with a kid seems just impossible. maybe it's best to put the kids to your parents or quit that life (may be very hard, though) - but thats up to you...

all the best,

an o. nymous