Sunday, June 29, 2008

allergic to tap water

You guys ready for a shock? Okay, check it- I'm a member of the First Baptist Church of Wellington. Me, Shelley, in church every Sunday... and all without bursting into flame. I guess if I had been a member the whole time I was working the streets and whatnot, I'd be one fuck of a hypocrite. But I just started going a couple months ago, and became an official "church member" just 3 weeks ago. One of those pics that was posted last week is from when I was called up by Pastor Townsend to announce in front of the congregation that I would like to be a member of their church and whatnot- it's the picture that was obviously taken in a church, strangely enough :)

After graduating from Victory Christian Academy (an all-girls Baptist boarding school- the kind of place that puts the "mental" in fundamentalism) in which I had to attend 3 seperate church services a day, I had decided that I had listened to enough people tell me that I was going to hell without being washed in the blood enough times to make up for every Sunday for the remainder of my life. I figured sitting in church 21 times a week was above and beyond the call of duty, even for the most pious of Christians.

So, I was through forever- until I got knocked up, and actually started thinking about having and raising a little kid. I decided that I want my daughter to grow up in church, and when she's an adult she can decide if she wants to continue going or not. I figured that since I'm "lukewarm" in the whole God department, I don't want my kid to grow up confused or worse, an atheist. Atheists are stupid- agnostics at least admit they don't know, but atheists can be just as obnoxious, self-righteous, and cocksure as the most annoying of religious folk. "There is no God, because there is no proof of God." Well, then how do you explain, I dunno... everything? The laws of physics that make the world work, the suspiciously perfect distance our planet is from the sun, photosynthesis, miles of intestines all serving a purpose, eyes, even a scab on your knee for fuck's sake! You put a hole in living skin, the hole will eventually be gone because of the processes of your body and it's taken for granted, but when you stop and consider it- wow. It's all amazing, and while scientists may figure out HOW these things work, they still haven't managed to answer WHY they work. Atheists think that "evolution" is the answer to why- even though they have no proof at all that all species evolved from a common ancestor. Hell, they don't have proof that anything ever became anything else! Yes, there are extinct animals that share attributes with known living species- so what? All that shows is that a similar animal died off, not that it was an "earlier evolutionary form". Bunch of fuckin' retards, those Darwin folk. Damn, I could go on for days on this topic (I actually did my senior report on "evolution vs creation" in high school) and I'm not gonna bother, cause it will take too long and I'm trying to focus on downloading songs from Shareaza for my shiny new ipod!

Yep, shiny new ipod. My birthday is next Sunday and my folks are getting me a music player because I want one and also because they are sick of me playing music on youtube or where they are forced to listen to it. My father is more easygoing, but my mom already decided that any form of entertainment (movies, tv shows, music, etc) that I like is disgusting and terrible. And of course, whatever my mom says my dad supports. I can't blame 'em for that- they are married, and I'd expect my husband to stand behind me in any disagreement. But anyways, I went with my dad to Circuit City to pick out the ipod today, although I won't receive it until next week. It's not a nano- it's 80MB and it's black and it will hold either 20,000 songs or 100 hours of video. The best part of having a music player- downloading music! I'm using Shareaza but it's the same as it used to be when Napster was free and super-contraversial and I used to sit up on Napster going click click click clickclickclick click clickclickclick all night long. I only got 2 songs so far (Inside the fire by Disturbed and Instigator by D12... weird, both songs start with I and both bands start with D, I didn't notice that till just now) but then, I just started fucking with it 10 minutes ago while typing here.

Ah, you know what I hate? People who "don't drink tap water" or even worse, are "allergic to tap water." HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Allergic to tap water! I swear I heard that from a 40 year olod man once. What the hell did he do for the first 25-30 years of his life? He's still alive, so he must have drank it- and he's still alive! Imagine that. My favorite thing to do to bottled-water snots? Pour out one of their bottles and refill it with tap water, then wait till they've drank all the bottles. I've done that to 25+ people, and not ONE has been able to tell the difference between their precious Evian and what comes out of the shower, if they are the same temperature. It's just another way to be a pretentious asshole. Just like only eating "organic" vegetables- don't even get me started on that bullshit. I think it's less about what actually goes into your body and more about other people's opinions about what goes into your body. Either that, or they are straight up deluded by the commercials and honestly don't realize that bottled water is somebody's tap water in a bottle and organic peppers are regular peppers with the pesticide washed off and a "certified organic" sticker on the side.

Anyways, I'm absofuckinglutely on a manic streak: loud voices in my head, constant energy, waking up lots of times at night, super-realistic scary nightmares, panic attacks/seizures, short attention span, can't shut the fuck up, shaking, can't sit still for a second (shoulda seen me in church this morning!), bright colors, all of it. The pills the ob/gyn gave me mixed with the grass take the edge off, but not for long. I'm smoking way too much grass right now anyways, but it is keeping me from smoking as many Newport 100s. Which is worse for us, menthols or fat jays? I'd say the cigs are worse cause of the fiberglass. You know that I wouldn't stop typing ever if I didn't force myself to wrap this up right now? I could go on and on and on and on about absolutely fucking nothing, and I could go for hours. Hell, being manic is a hell of a lot better than being on the other side- it's like a good speed rush without the actual drug being involved. I'm not looking forward to the crash into sadness and sickness at the end of the crazy run.


Anonymous said...

you judging people makes me laugh...

Anonymous said...

Hey Shelley,
First up, 'Hello from the UK'
I've been reading your blog ever since i stumbled across it last year, you're a really great writer!
Just thought i'd mention another way of downloading totally free music from the internet...
I use a site called to search for music and then if you download a programme called Azureus, (download for free on the net), that handles the download. Its so much quicker and easier, plus you can get full albums instead of single tracks.
Hope this helps!
Take Care,

Anonymous said...

Huh, who would have guessed? A pregnant semi-retired hooker on methadone who smokes butts and weed constantly is apparently much less interesting to blog-followers than a junk-shooting anybody-fucking hooker who etc.

Surprise surprise.

Good to see you're back with that great guy who kidnapped you, or something. Whatever. Or something.

Good luck with everything from an ole preacher.
Better luck to the kiddo.
Mom oughta start using that brain and reading some real books. The Color Purple and One Hundred Years Of Solitude would be interesting places to start.

It figures you'd end up in church. Too far one way leads to too far the other way.

You might try the middle. It's pleasantly high and healthy here ALL the time.

PS I've used every drug ever made and hardcore exercise to the point of total exhaustion is still the best high I've found. Speedballs came close, but cost so much more in so many ways, and gave nothing back the next day.

Anonymous said...

Finally someone with a brain!!!!!
Chronicle of a Death Foretold is my favorite after One Hundred Years Of Solitude.


Cocaine Princess said...

Your posts are always a joy to read Michelle. Hugs to you and your little princess to be.
Cocaine Princess

Stay healthy and stay strong.