Thursday, January 3, 2008

presumably to dispose of the bodies

I'm not gonna bother with a play-by-play. New years eve sucked nuggets. I was with my friend from my hometown, who came to Florida to take me back west with him. He was kinda pissed when I decided I didn't want to go, I might still go but I might not. We were supposed to leave tonight, but I have until tomorrow to decide. Whatever. Anyways, new years eve was spent in Miami. I didn't drink and barely got high, just enough heroin to keep my head screwed on right, I was just sad. I made the incredible mistake of calling Rob and confiding something in him, now he's on my dick and won't get off. That man doesn't seem to understand that I don't want what he wants for me. Rob if you're reading this (and I know you read this)- LOSE MY PHONE NUMBER. I'm sorry I called you, but hell, I didn't know you were gonna drag your skinny ass back to Florida just to give me shit and piss me off all day! I'm not Miss fucking Cleo, but here's a prediction anyway: call my boyfriend again and you'll be sorry.

2008 has been good to me so far. I almost got robbed- there's a good story. I was walking down Okeechobee Blvd (near Congress) minding my own shit when this big white dude comes up and starts asking me for a dollar or something like that. I told him I didn't have, and then everything happened real quick. He pushed me down on the concrete and grabbed at my purse and my foot just swung out. It wasn't till he hit the ground that I realized what had just gone down- this bastard had tried to steal my purse and I had kicked him in the balls. Once I figured that out, I was straight-up pissed. This mofo is gonna come up to me and try to abscond with my measly-ass $39, my toys, my identification, my Clematis Street library card, my cigarettes, about 20 Newport points that I had collected throughout the day, my candy... what the hell? So I started yelling, "how are you gonna come up here and rob a bitch? You can't do that shit!" and delivered another swift kick to the nuggets. There was a taxi watching the whole thing, and he yells out, "damn girl, you a gangsta!" I ran over there (I knew better than to be a couple feet up the road when the wannabe purse-snatcher managed to stand up) and asked him how much it would cost to get a gangsta to downtown, and rode out. I never felt more like a G in my life.

I've got a big fat secret... I made the mistake of sharing with one person (Rob) and his stupid bitch ass told Greggie my secret. I denied it- "he's just trying to make me look bad, don't listen to Rob, he's fucking clown shoes, I don't know WHY he would make up something like that." I'm a pretty good liar... had a lot of practice. This is really my "honest place" since I gots no reason to lie to a buncha folks I don't know...

I made big moneys today! The minute I leave the library I gotta call my d-boy and try to get some shit, since I'm down to one bag and I need another for tonight AND one for the morning. I got the bread to cover it, it's just that out of the 4 people I deal with only 1 is holding and he told me to call him back... actually around now. Hooray! Hope it goes through.

I been writing short essays, trying to be a comedian, and wanted to share my essay entitled "Christmas":

Christmas used to be a religious holiday, and I suppose in a way it still is. We worship money, materialism, shopping, good food, and who could forget Santa Claus. The original Santa Claus was a saint, Saint Nicholas, but he's been transformed into an old fatty who breaks into your house and puts shit in your socks. If I hear someone coming down my chimney in the middle of the night, especially if he's carrying a big sack (presumably to dispose of the bodies?), I'm grabbing the fireplace poker or a baseball bat or something. Not that I've ever had a chimney. I remember when Santa Claus was explained in my kindergarden classroom down here in the South, that was the biggest concern- a lack of chimneys. I guess then he's forced to pick the lock and break in the back door instead. It doesn't really matter, because if he continues to subsist on nothing but milk and cookies he won't be around much longer. Santa's gonna have an infarction and I don't think red-nosed reindeer are particularly adept at CPR. Either that or one of the "naughty" kids who Santa's been leaving lumps of coal for is gonna whack him in the head with a shovel and take his whole bag o' gifts. These kids are on the shit list for a reason.

The following are replies to the comments left on my last post. I stole this idea from my little brother's blog, but it seems to work out real well for him, so here goes...

REPLIES-

Diamond: It was Donna. Did you know her mom just died? She must've been 100 years old, cause Donna sure is old.

Anonymous #1: I give him my money, but he makes sure I never need anything. He pays for my food, my clothes, my cigarettes, my rent, my phone bill, my drugs, gas to drive me around, candy, and anything else I ever need out of the money I "give" him. It's not like he's lining his pockets.

Taxitalk: Aww, how sweet. I linked to you, in case you didn't see.

Anonymous #2: Yeah, I'm at Clematis Street library right now.

Anonymous #3: No, my middle name starts with A.

18 comments:

da ice queen said...

dam girl you're hilarious. I wish i'd been there when that sob tried to rob ya, ida kickt him in the FACE!!!

much clown luv,
diamond

artie blackmon said...

hello Michelle I am Artie I am a Dealer who hangs near narc anonamous meetings. I think I am in your part of Town tell me if I am wrong. I live on Sapodilla and 5th Street by the county Courthouse. I eMailed you ok? If you want to meet me then eMail me back. I will take good care of you.

jin said...

your blog is riveting

some men are such assholes

get 'em where it hurts

Anonymous said...

Hey, good for you girl, sounds like you fucked him up G.. hahaha!! Anyways, I wish I was in FLA about now.. I have been chippin for a few months now and have only 1 dealer left and the past few times I have gotten it, it just totally SUCKED so I was like fuck it, it is a waste of $$ so I have not done anything for like 3 weeks. NBD I guess right. Shit you even have DDs emailin you on this blog!! BTW, I know I don't have to tell you but watch it babe.. Anyways, if you do "leave" I hope you keep up the blog, you are a great writer.. Good Luck!!
Boston Joe

Anonymous said...

So you think having an abortion is worse than bringing a drug addicted baby into your messed up life? Not only are you all the things you claim to be- junkie whore, etc., etc.- you are a selfish, delusional bitch.

1. No baby deserves a "mother" like you. If the kid stays with you they will be in for a life of hell. If (when) you lose custody the kid will have to grow up knowing their mother cared more about being a junkie whore than him/her.

2. Do you know what kind of damage you are doing shooting dope, smoking pot, and drinking every day? Alcohol in the first 3 months can do major damage to a baby. You will be responsible for bringing a damaged baby into the world. Your actions are disgusting.

3. The chances of you getting prenatal care are ZERO. Therefore you will very likely give your baby HIV (which would make you the murderer you claim you are better than because you are not having an abortion).

4. You've already destroyed one life. Didn't your first kid almost fall and die because you were paying more attention to filling your crack pipe?

5. Your kid will never know his father since it could be any one of the hundreds of men you whore yourself to.

Abortion would be the kindest thing you could do. Of course, you're too selfish to think of anyone other than your pathetic self.

taxitalk said...

See those taxi drivers are there when you need us. aaaaa and we don't judge you as long as you pay, stay safe

jsquared said...

i like that you have published the less then flattering comments.....not enough talk on the internet about methadone, crank, whores, and depression, everyone wants to talk about TV and living well and eating right and fucking safe and blah and blah.......having been clean for some time now, i'm glad i found your site....thanks

Anonymous said...

rob...if you are going to write something, at least have the balls to say it is from you...

jin said...

not all non-users are as ignorant as anon 7:45.

michelle: why am i obsessed with heroin? i have never used it but read trip reports, opiophile - that's where i found you.

is it REALLY the floating, not-a-care-in-the-world bliss that it sounds like?

(is that a stupid question because, if it wasn't - would people do everything they do to get it?)

(i'm not running out to go try it so pls be as honest)

Anonymous said...

Shelley, I've been reading your blog a long time. You are such a bright and talented woman, and if I didn't think that I wouldn't even bother getting in your business and mentioning the following..

If your secret has anything to do with "anon 7:45" please try to be safe out there, and get to a doctor.

Anonymous said...

Shelley, I've read your stuff once a month or so here and on opi for a few months. You're a decent writer, but it is truly sad to see someone with a brain treat herself and her family like you do.
How can you put your name and your family's pictures on a blog all about your being a hooker and a heroin addict? Do you hate them that much? You seem to love them, judging from some of your comments, but the most loving thing you could do for them would be to delete their photos and your real name.
You obviously have a weird sort of death wish, hence putting your name and photo up here and then telling the world when you're at what library, etc. I guess you want to get busted or kidnapped because you think you're bright but you're clearly not smart enough to live a healthy, relaxed, and consistently enjoyable life.
When I first started reading your stuff I felt for you. Now I just feel for your family, and the unborn kid inside of you that you are too selfish to abort.
Yeah, you read that right. No way do you have the balls or courage to stay clean for nine months. You know this and are sadly proud of it, judging form your dozens of entries about loving the junky life. That kid, if born, will live a life of hell. Listen to the guy on opi whose mom was a junky on the thread about your pregnancy. Do you want to raise a kid who turns out like that? If you didn't want input you wouldn't expose your inner self like you do online, so here it be.
You've already admitted to almost killing your first baby because you were too busy smoking crack to care for your child.
Get an abortion and show the world for once that you can put anyone other than your own selfish self first.
Sorry about the honesty, but you give it so I assume you like to get it back.
You've got a brain. Fact is, you're gonna end up dead soon, by your own hand or some insane freak who reads your ignorantly blatant posts here and on opi...or maybe you're gonna get your shit together and not have to live in atruck with a sad-ass pimp who pretends that he's your friend but is too damn lazy to get a job and give you a decent place to live.
Oh well, you seem to love tormenting others and yourself as well, so good luck.
But for god's and goddess' sake spare that unborn kid a life of misery.
Now's your chance to be the authentically decent person you could be if you put yourself second for a change.
Do it for the family you claim to love. Do it for your brother. But damn it, woman, do it! Clean up today or let the kid go. Anything else is you being incredibly cruel to someone innocent just like the folks you rail against here for being cruel to you.
At least you have a choice, and a chance to do the right thing.

ian said...

i think the people here who are leaving negative comment are fucking cocksuckers. at least man the fuck up and write your name. who gives you the right to tell her how to live her life? fuck you all. stay well shelley

kevin said...

Perhaps "Mr. Anonymous" should try not being so anonymous. If you're stalking this chick on o-phile then I think a bunch of us would like to have a word with you. Well, mostly bash your skull in, but yea, show yerself ye coward!

EERASED said...

Hey Shelly
We all know you well enough from your posts that you arent going to let that bastard above get to you!

You do what you think is best. You stay say and hang in there.

Hugz Girl,
Des

Linda W. said...

Nice friends you bunch are. I too read this and many blogs, but this one takes the cake for pure ego. This girl drags her family into her nightmare for the world to see. She even posts their pictures. Why? Where's the love there? If she wants to mess her life up, let her, but why abuse her family at the same time? I'm sure her hometown is full of people who read this blog and her parents must have a damn hard time dealing with that. What an incredibly selfish child.
I know I would fall apart if my kids ever did anything like this. As a woman, I agree with anon, whatever you big tough men say. "Bash your brains in". Why not use your own brain first? That's the first threat issued here. Anon has made some good points, and it's about time someone stood up for the parents here. We are all allowed to speak our minds, aren't we? And who is "stalking"? Everyone who reads a blog or a forum? I saw no threats against Michelle in any post her, except hers. The point about exposing her identity is a good one, that really is asking for trouble. But clearly Michelle loves trouble, as she is proud to point out. What a vortex of pain and lack of love for others. Here are her own words, this girl you defend as if she is a saint:

1) i "bought" a crackhead/junky's very expensive car
(that she had just payed off)
for a very small amount of dope
because i knew she was very sick and would do it
then refused to even give her a ride in it later

2) i hit a girl with a 2 by 4
because a dealer that she ripped off
offered me 3 bags to do it
walked up behind her, wha-pow

3) i let my son who was 4mnths old at the time
swandive (or so it seemed) off the counter
onto the tile floor
because i forgot to hold onto him
cause i was fixing my crackpipe

4) i stole a whole bottle (40count) of oxycontin 80s
from someone who had just had major surgery
and was in a lot of pain
because he owed me $40 and refused to give me one
his reasoning: "he couldn't spare one, he needed 'em"
can't spare one, motherfucker, ya lose em all

5) i "autographed" someones brand new F-350 pickup
(carved my name on the hood)
because my friend said he had stolen a bag from her
when in reality, i had stolen the bag from her
but i pretended to be super-pissed on her behalf
and swore revenge on "that fucking theif"

...do i need to go on?"

It's her life to screw up, BUT is it her right to screw up an unborn kid's lfe, and that of her family?
I don't think so. She's admitted to stealing and cheating and screwing people over left and right, so who is the innocent party here?
But you'd beat someone up so she could go on entertaining you with her slow suicide.
Nice friends.
If you really loved this girl you'd be trying to help her get her life together, not encouraging her to continue on as a prostitute and addict.
Or do you all want another baby falling off a counter while Mommy smokes crack?
Unbelievable.

I-Nod said...

Shelley, as always, I'm wishing you well. Ignore all these bleeding-heart assholes... so self righteous, yet on the same damn 'junky forum' as you.

People don't like it when someone tells the naked, unadulterated truth... they have this Utopian image of life... and lie even to themselves.

Hope things start looking up, hun... it's bound to, right? Take care & be well!

Jerry

carlos william carlos said...

huh, funny thing...all this love for the girl who rips people off, but no love for her victims.
but oh the outrage at anyone not posting a name!
just look at big tough ian, whose name is so bravely displayed. he even included a phone number.
yes, put your name up here and your opinion will mean that much more, kids!
you and your opiophile buddies might want to wake up and realize that you're in no way anonymous. the patriotic act makes it legal to trace you without warrant as you are condoning illegal activities.
everything you write here is usable in a court of law.
maybe shelly is starting to think about consequences for a change.
gosh, hope not for the sake of all of you who get your jollies watching her disintegrate daily, and threatening those who might want her to stop and thus ruin your sick little jollies.
have fun with that.
and gosh what a bummer, now her brother says she makes much of this stuff up.
i mean, if you can't trust someone who calls themeself a "junky ho", who can you believe in?
if you care about shelly so much, why not go down there and lend her some cash, maybe give her your car?
she'd love you for it.

Anonymous said...

kevin you soft pussy yo

yo shelly yo u a hooker yo?u snicker licker suckin black dick yo?