Sunday, January 4, 2009

watch me on a hidden camera for a month straight

Everyone has been on my ass to update lately, both here and IRL. I guess I'm losing the interest I once had in making this blog great, which kinda sucks because now I have real live readers who actually give a damn about when I write and what about, as well as readers who read every word I write and attempt to use it against me! I started this blog because I was living such an exciting, unpredictable, crazy life and I had daily adventures that I just HAD to write about- the cops rushing into Chuck's house while there was drugs and 'quip everywhere, my friend's car running out of gas in the parking lot of the Sunoco that he had just robbed, me and my boy E peeking out the windows of one of Palm Beach island's most luxurious hotel suites for 36 straight hours, deaths, arrests, moves, efforts at rehabilitation... basically all the junkie drama of a real-life street soap opera. Much less excitement now, which is a good thing for my new family but a bad thing for those hoping for an entertaining story.

Another problem- I can no longer express myself as I wish, because there are multiple pricks out there in cyberspace making increasingly incorrect predictions ("yer baby iz gonna b born a junky1!!!!") and threatening to call DCF every time I type anything that they don't approve of. Honestly, I could care less if these hateful sons of bitches hiding behind their keyboards keep spewing their venom all over my blog- I am 100% pro-freedom, and these folks are entitled to type whatever they want, even if it is useless, incorrect, and libelous. But I also have the freedom to say what I please! After all, this is MY website, is it not? I should be able to say that I've been craving coke bad enough to give me migraines this past week, and not have anyone threaten to use it against my baby!

And by the way, Trish (PTO Mom) was right when she said that drug use (or in this case, simply writing about past and/or possible drug use!) is not enough for anyone to take custody of Jazzie away from me! My child is spoiled rotten, and you could watch me on a hidden camera for a month straight and never even see me YELL at my baby girl, much less abuse, neglect, or endanger her. That kid saved my life, and I am beyond grateful- she is treated with utmost respect and love.

Another reason I'm not on this blog very often is that people are telling me what to write, how to write it, what to add, what NOT to write, when to write, etc. This used to be for me, now he wants me to try and make money off this blog which isn't that big of a deal (I do like money!) but that isn't the priority on here. At least it shouldn't be, and it hasn't been until now. Let's let it remain that way, all righty? Blogging without obligation, bitches! Shit, I'm already gonna make a couple bucks selling all them baby clothes on ebay!

Well anyways, I guess I'll write about baby's first Christmas. She loved it! Jazzie loves Christmas lights, so we would take her for a walk around the neighborhood every night to see all the light displays. Some of them were pretty big and bright, and I could tell Jaz liked them because she made her "interested face" which is: eyes big like saucers, mouth dangling open (with or without a string of drool hanging down), arms sticking out as if to grab what she's looking at. There was a HUGE display of lights at a local chocolate shop called Hoffman's Chocolates, so we took her there. She made the interested face as well as lots of smiles and happy gurgling for about a half hour... then she got a little bit overwhelmed. There were THOUSANDS of lights, as well as a very large group of people (including a bunch of bikers!) talking loudly and laughing- all in all, too much excitement for a baby not quite three months old. I took her out and let her bury her face in my chest so she could calm down. That was a few days before the 25th.

On Christmas Day, I had Jaz help open her presents. She got a bunch of awesome clothes (fuck dope and coke, I am now physically addicted to baby clothes) but a bunch of the stuff I ordered didn't fit. To anyone who wants to order from, order about 2 sizes up: my girl was born in September and the 6 month sizes are too fuckin' small. Also they are giving me problem with exchanging said unworn baby clothes for store credit or the next size up. I will update about this, because I don't want to talk shit about a company that doesn't deserve it! To their credit, they have great stuff... it just runs quite small. Jazzie-bear's favorite present was a rattle that she can munch on (she is teething) and if she starts to cry in the car, I shake the rattle and she (usually, but not always) stops crying. Later on Christmas day I went to see Yes Man with Jim Carrey, and fed Jasmyne in the theater. I figured I'd get to watch half of that movie before she started fidgeting, but no one but me even knew there was a baby in the theater! I did miss the last five minutes to change her diaper, but whatever.

Some stuff to show how spoiled my bear cub is! She is teething (and not even 4 months old yet, crazy huh?) and the teething ring I already had is a little big for her. So Greg and I [and yes bitches, Greggie IS her father!!!!!] went to Babies R Us, which is a very intimidating 'superstore' filled to the brim with shit that you'd never think a baby would need. Spray-on conditioner? Infant eye drops? Crib bumpers and crib skirts? Gems for decorating pacifiers? It's all there- and more! Anyways, we were in the market for a smaller teething toy, and (since it was Babies R Us) we were faced with a huge variety. We bought three different ones just to find the one that she liked best. And neither one of us is working right now!

Also- she doesn't wear disposable diapers. At all. I am one of the only Americans in 2009 who doesn't just use cloth diapers, but FLAT cloth diapers! Here is what I am referring to: I hafta scrub shit with my hands, but they are better for Jaz and for the environment. I also have cloth baby wipes, and "cuddle time" at least 5 times a day. Is that abuse, neglect, or endangerment? :)

Well I have to go and feed her once again, so away I go. Tommorrow there will be more (no, really!) because I have put together quite a collage!


Cocaine Princess said...

Happy New Year to you and your Jazzy!

Anonymous said...

I really don't think that u talking about doing drugs even NOW can get her taken away. This blog could be entirely fictional if u wanted to flip the script. I kno u arent using, but im just saying. It isnt like this would hold much water in court imo.

Love ya


Anonymous said...

i know you will use the excuse that you 'just had a baby' blah blah blah but please, cover your fat ass up! you DO NOT belong in a bathing suit, especially the shit you have on, yuck. also, what the fuck is wrong with your face? your cheeks in particular? too many dick slappings from your hoe days? allergic reaction to all those johns shooting their shit all over your crack whore face? you may not be in deep with your dope at present time, but honestly you arent any better than you used to be because you get your dope 'legally' now....get real with yourself....i hope you can figure out how to set a decent example for your child, she needs a decent role model