Monday, February 11, 2008

a terrible person for eternity

So... I think I'm in trouble. I'm not gonna get into specifics on here, but I think I am in a whole mess o' trouble.

Drunk, yes I am pretty drunkish right now. But no h. I haven't done any heroin since Thursday- no, I'm not enjoying it. I have been drinking, not to excess, just enough to dull the sick. Also smoking tons and tons of pot, which is fun while drinking but it a poor substitute for heroin. Wish I had a drink, a real drink, all I got right now is a couple 24s of Natty Ice, last night I was slamming pina coladas with 151 floaters, that was delicious. But you know what, I'm sick. Real sick man, coming off dope sucks. But ya know what, I'm pregnant! Yeah! I can't belieive I finally admitted that on here! So I will quit shooting heroin, or I will be a terrible person for eternity. Go ahead bitches, I'm not scared of hell. This is my best shot, I would kill for some dope but am not doing any, so whatever.

To Derrick and Niina and Angela- sorry about Saturday, you know I wanted to be there but I was sick as a dog all day and couldn't have enjoyed myself, would've ruined y'alls time too. Hope Gretchen Wilson was good...

I can't download limewire could whoever put that send some mp3s to my email, I got google mail so it holds everything.


dharmabum: OCD people are too easy to drive crazy, they're no fun at all.

ian: you don't get it yet, do you? I like the flamers! They add excitement to my online-life (which isn't nearly as exciting as my real life)

flamer with a brain: I'm a big fan of free speech dude, that's the reason I leave all the comments up because I like having the freedom to say whatever I want online and I want anyone who takes the time to read my writing to have the same freedom. Of course I like the attention, but that's not the main reason. As for the money thing, even McDonalds has slow days. I make money. Half the point of blogs is freedom of expression, and the other half is entertainment. I'm very entertained by stories of people doing very risky dangerous deadly shit, why shouldn't others be? I put some very personal shit up here on the interenet because it entertains me to write it, it entertains my friends, and it gives me a whole nother group of people to "associate" with, most of whom I'll never meet in real life. So what's wrong with being entertained? Shit! If you can't laugh at yourself, there's no hope at all. You may have a brain, but so do I. I know what my problem is and you aren't doing anyone any good by stating it over and over and over.

anony: I love the back-and-forth on these comment pages

anony: A truly well thought-out response.

anony: Who the hell are you arguing with?

fatal-rage: You are awesome! I'm gonna link to you.


this is derrick said...

okay so yeah I'm retarted i can't know how to do this! i try here since the cell phone is shut off r we still going to miami to grocery"shop" next week nd call me u kno the nujmber it edds with 0075

Anonymous said...

I am usually pretty supportive of people so don't take this as a criticism --but-- if you are pregnant, please try not to drink a lot. I know that you're drinking to help with the dope sickness but heavy drinking while pregnant can cause fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS)or it's milder yet still devastatingly developmentally delaying cousin, fetal alcohol effect (FAE). These are not Native American problems only. Drinkers of all races are affected. You don't want to damage your child's brain if you can help it. One thing in your favor is that FAS & FAE are more likely to happen w/ each pregnancy so the first baby born to a heavy drinker (during pregnancy) usually does the best. I'm sure that smoking large quantities of pot isn't ideal while pregnant either but I can't quote a direct link to a likely problem for the baby. Small birth weight? Or is that just regular cigarettes? Get prenatal care if you haven't started already. Even buying the prenatal vitamins over-the-counter are better than nothing. I don't know what your access to healthcare is like but try an OB with addiction experience. I almost don't want to say this in case it's not true but it's my understanding that heroin isn't the worst drug for the baby while pregnant. Not a good idea to use but get your facts straight for the sake of your child. I am assuming that you are going to have the baby. If not, the above probably doesn't matter. If you are having the baby, try to be the most drug free that you can be until the birth at least. Maybe make that your goal? "I will try until -Baby's Due Date- to use as few harmful substances as possible." It's not forever, just a few months.

Anonymous said...

Are you planning on having the kid? I'm not one to usually support abortion. But I think you're probably the poster child for why abortions should remain legal in this country.

Do the kid a favor and kill it now. The state doesn't need another addict/hooker/waste of space's kid to raise.

Wolf! Wolff!! said...

Now is this a real pregnancy or another fake one like a month ago?
Are you the same person who cried wolf and now can't be believed, or a new one?
You say you love the attention, but how can you expect anyone to believe you or even care when you posted lies about this and many other issues in the past?
Maybe you decided to get pregnant just for the attention, and the pregnant girls video shoots?
Just kidding. I think...
Oh well, hope it all works out. Just make sure to have a pitcher of martinis and a loaded point ready when the kid'll need 'em, as it'll be hooked already!
Or, surprise the world and think of someone else first for a change!

dee goldie said...

QUIT FUCKING DRINKING. i know it is hard, trust me, but if you are pregnant and planning to have the baby, then it's not about you anymore.

being dopesick probably fucking sucks, but guess what sucks more...being a developmentally and mentally retarded child.

Mike said...

You are truly pathetic. You already tried the whole pregnancy thing for attention and your brother outed you for the lying scumbag you are. What makes you even more of an idiot is saying that you aren't doing dope cause you're pregnant when alcohol is 1000 times worse. You will be the worse mother in the world and I'd be surprised if you had custody of a kid for even a day so do the world a favor and kill it before it knows the misery of life with you.

Anonymous said...

It is is her fucking blog, go the hell away if you don't like it.

And yes, we try to offer positive, healthy advice, but in the end it is in Shelley's power.

I think it is better that she has her supporters. I would help her out in a heartbeat and I live in the burbs and and married and a working white collar hack.

jin said...


i got pregnant when i was 16 and had an abortion. it was the most heartwrenching and life-altering thing i've ever done but, even though it has torn me apart i don't truly regret it.

i was then, and am now, in no condition to have a child. it was not fair to me to make a child pay for my mistakes.

how do you feel about this as it relates to you?

dee goldie said...

i'm not judging or trying to be a bitch, and i know that giving shelley support is probably what she needs. i'm just saying it will suck for the baby. I know someone who had a baby while using dope and drinking, and i know first-hand how bad it can be.

whatever. it's none of my business, but if you write a public blog you get public answers.

taxitalk said...

so what you gonna do? do you wanna love the babe? you can mess with anything in the world but a babe so if it's all for real keep it real, you know that right?

Jerome said...

If you are pregnant- do the right thing, and have an abortion. You may have already done damage to the fetus.

While I realize that you claim to be a "conservative" and self-identify with the Republicans, try not to be a hypocrite like they are.

Do the best thing for yourself, this child, and the society as a whole.

Bless you, and all my best.