5 days off heroin.
Listening to Lil Wayne, I think I like everything he's ever done, he's got an awesome voice.
I'm only drinking and smoking too much pot because I'm trying to get through the kick. I'm barely getting through. To all the geniuses who are telling me how bad booze is for pregnant bitches, look up how bad cold-turkey heroin kicks are. Kay? Lay the fuck up off a bitch. Quitting dope when I know I can get some whenever the fuck I want is hard. The big problem? I got dealers that will front. Fronts will be the death of me, especially with cocaine, but with dope it's hard too. Shit, when I call and say I have no money, it sure is nice to hear, "I got you" but it's bad in the fucking long run. Whatever. I'm sick as fuck y'all, so I'm out.
Okay, so I did some heroin. I got a phone call for a little scratch, and the wheels in my head started to spin. I did the date and asked him to drop me off at Winn Dixie so I could buy some needles, then I was gonna call the d-boy and get him to give me a ride home by offering an extra five bucks. No such fucking luck! My date was in a hurry, so he dropped me back where I'm staying and I immediately called dope boy #1, "Jose" [not a real name] since he lives right around where I'm currently staying. He was at work, and it was too early to call anyone else (10am) but I called anyways. Dope boy #2, "Lexus" was not answering, most likely cause it was early as fuck and I think he smokes crack. I called dope boy #3 ("Producer") not expecting him to answer, but he did and agreed to deliver. I went out, gave him my money, and proceeded to lose the shit on the walk back. Glory. Now I'm even sicker than before because I had the shit in my hand and now I have none, and I'm running up and down the street looking at the ground like a crackhead. Did I find it? Of course I found it. I'm a junkie. If I hadn't found it, I'd still be out there, re-tracing my steps. No fucking lie.
So, no needles, but I'm sick as fuck and couldn't care less. Up the nose it went, a bag in each nostril. It tasted like shit, I remember why I hate snorting, its so fucking disgusting, I'd rather jam metal through skin and tissue any day. But I was very happy to be snorting heroin rather than not having heroin at all, yes yes. I haven't sniffed any dope in years, and I forgot how slow it kicks in, and you don't get a rush off it, but snort 2 bags and wait 5 minutes and you get HIGH. Maybe cause I was like 5 days off, I got a feeling if I had a needle I would've overdosed. Lucky me.
One of my dealers keeps calling over and over to tell me that he doesn't have anything right now, he's waiting on his guy. He knows I have no ride, he knows I already hooked up, he knows I have no money, he knows it's raining and I can't get out. Yet, he keeps calling, "I'm still waiting on my guy, I guess I'll call you later." Ummm... yeah. Someone's hitting the fucking pipe mighty hard.
[[an edit to the above paragraph- he just called me back and apparently plans on driving over here and fronting me dope and a needle, although I asked for no such thing. You see what I mean about fronts will be the death of me? I wish my dealers didn't like me... wait... that's a big fat lie.]]
$$ Replies $$
$ derrick $- Nope, can't go to Miami. Trying fruitlessly to quit getting high, hell I'm closer than I was before. Enjoy yourself though. Take your sister, I know for a fact she wants to go.
$ anony 1 $- Yes, I know, I know.
$ anony 2 $- You know the best part? I can do whatever the hell I want and there's nothing you can do about it, ANONYMOUS.
$ wolf! wolff! $- see above
$ dee goldie $- see above
$ mike $- Yeah, I know, I know. See above.
$ anony 3 $- Hey, it's someone who understands that I can do whatever the hell I want and there's nothing anyone on here can do about it! Hooray for you, anonymous #3! Thanks for the props anyways. I don't understand what makes people that don't like my subject material read me EVERY TIME I UPDATE and leave mean comments. You'd think if my life sickened them that much, they'd stay the fuck up out of it. But, everyone's a bully on the internet. Not me. I'm a bitch, but I can't be a bully. You gotta really care to be a bully, and I don't really care.
$ jin $- If I can stay clean, I'm having the kid. If I can't stay clean, I'm getting an abortion. Yeah, whatever.
$ dee goldie $- Damn straight I deserve public answers! Stand up and use that First Amendment right! Freedom of speech, motherfuckers!
$ taxitalk $-Depends upon my limitations.
$ jerome $- Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
3 weeks ago