kind of random

I once had it all, but I'm down to none
What's the point of life without a little fun?
True, I did some things that I know are wrong
True, the party has lasted a bit too long
True, I've fried my brain and I've wrecked my health
And committed felonies against myself
I'm the perfect example of self-will run riot
When the voices in my head refuse to keep quiet
I don't know when it started, the incessant pain
That made me stick that needle into my vein
But I do know that it won't go away
I've tried it all, I guess it's here to stay
So I sit and smoke and write these rhymes
Like I've done so many other times
I know it's kind of random, but my brain is soggy
And my thoughts confuse me and my mind is foggy
I grew up with a family that I hold dear
I may talk some shit, but it's not sincere
I love my family with all my heart
So why the drugs? Why'd I even start?
Because it's fun as hell when you first begin
I felt SO rebellious to be involved with sin
But it drew me in, now I can't get away
So I go through the same shit every day
I still go to work, because I gotta get paid
Even if it means suck dick or get laid
And then Micheal got involved with me as well
I held him tight all the way to Hell
If I had one wish, I'd wish to be free
Of the pain and the thoughts that torture me
Free from the needles and free from the lies
And the heroin- the devil in disguise
You say that The Twelve Steps can see me through
And maybe that bullshit works for you
But having to attend meetings every day-
Isn't that an addiction in it's own way?
If I stay in the program, I'll never be free
Those stupid slogans keep you under lock and key
"Easy does it" "Let go and let God"
Does no one but me find it slightly odd
To live your life by a bumper sticker?
I can find "serenity" so much quicker
With a needle filled with the finest brown
But in the end that, too, lets me down
So until I find a better way
Looks like these drugs are here to stay
They keep me smiling, keep me sane
While they wreck my body and destroy my brain
Don't know a better way to get my kicks
So fuck it- I'm down for another fix