Wednesday, April 25, 2007

the edge of the abyss

I wrote this poem in detox last month... the title is "I can't write anything Positive"

Mirror, mirroor, on the wall
Will this be the day I fall?
Most of my life has been a mess
Of hardcore drugs and emptiness
Time went by and I went straight
Yeah I got clean, it's not so great
My body hurts, my legs still kick
My hands are aching for a stick
I'm at the edge of the abyss
And it's not just the dope I miss
I miss fucking, sucking, lickying,
Jonesing, copping, cooking, sticking,
I miss the action, miss the game
Miss how the whole block knows my name
What don't I miss? The daylong chase
To put a high smile on my face
Or when I wake up sick as shit
Burning, aching for a hit
To never again see that rush of red?
To tell the truth, I'd rather be dead
I crave that needle in my vein
Not just to melt away the pain
But to keep me smiling, keep me sane
While it wrecks my body and destroys my brain
I'm stuck in a game that I can't win
But I'm slowly letting light flow in
If I stay clean, it's MY OWN WAY
But it does get better every day
So don't fight back, don't question it,
Just listen and don't take a hit
And even if you don't have a cent
And the success rate is a pathetic 4%
Listen and open up your eyes
Cause the worst it could be is a pack of lies
But there ain't much I haven't seen before
So if you're high and unhappy, just reach out for more

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