TEA PARTY

Tax Day Tea Party today! Anyone interested in joining this pro-freedom pro-America grassroots movement, google the location of the nearest protest and help us fight for lower taxes, less spending and government entitlements, and personal freedom! I'll be in downtown West Palm Beach today at 6pm.

rich people food

So, this guy's ex girlfriend is completely insane. But more than just insane. I can also add the following descriptive adjectives: stupid, immature, mean, petty, jealous, fat, ugly, spiteful, malevolent (that one she probably wouldn't understand), rude, cowardly, a liar, full of shit, stupid, throws temper tantrums like a toddler, inattentive as a mother, fat, compulsive eater, dirty, smelly, never cleans, STUPID, IMMATURE, middle school mentality, cop-caller, and more than anything else a LIAR. I was gonna write a list of offenses, both large and small, that this little girl (21 years old) has committed in the time that I've known her. Keep in mind that not all of these things are that bad on their own, but they do put together a personality profile that is quite unflattering:

-She lies constantly- about small things that don't matter (such as her daughter walked at 8 months and that she went to the emergency room for a rash), about bizarre things in an attempt for sympathy (such as she got into a car accident and hurt a newborn baby out of her car seat, and that she has severe scoliosis), and damaging lies about other people (those will be listed seperately).
-She types her name like this M3L!SSA!!
-She has a new "love of her life with him forever" ever couple of weeks or so (they always dump her every couple of weeks is why).
-She dated a Jewish guy who was basically Jamie Kennedy's character from Malibu's Most Wanted (I called him B-Rad, he actually would snap his fingers in the air and yell "daaaaaaaaamn nigga dat's mah jam!" when the new T-Pain or whatever song came on top 40 radio).
-She called the police on her other ex (the one I am sorta kinda with now) for beating her, which he never did.
-She told a friend's boyfriend that the friend had been sucking a black dude's dick in the back seat of a car, causing boyfriend to break up with her since boyfriend had never met M3L!SSA! and had no way of knowing how incredibly full of shit she is.
-She constantly text messages and talks to guys on myspace instead of watching her 2-year-old daughter, and then makes empty threats to slap her and put her to bed when she demands attention.
-She is fat (5'1 over 200 pounds), eats nothing but junk food, and is ugly.
-She never cleans her house (her live Christmas tree finally went out in March) and it smells awful in there, also doesn't take much of a shower.
-She is loud and annoying.
-She is stupid and has absolutely no depth to her.
-She accused my brother of buying stolen pills (the pills were never stolen)
-she txt b0mbz me all dae wit txt msgz tht l00k lyk thys
-She throws temper tantrums like a 4-year-old.
-She calls the police on anyone who says anything to her.
-She called my daughter fat, stupid, and ugly on text messages but is too cowardly to say anything to my face.
-She is delusional to the point where seeing her ex in the mall (he didn't see her) means that the two of them must be getting back together.
-She is desperate for a man, and desperation is ugly.
-She makes the lip-pursed dick sucking fish face in all of her myspace photos, which are mostly taken in the bathroom.
-She threatened to call the police and DCF on me for stealing pills (the ones I supposedly sold to my brother) and shooting heroin, stating that "the cops will believe me when they see your tracks."
-She comes into my house, eats all my food, leaves the dirty dishes laying out, leaves my kid's food laying out because her kid won't eat anything but McDonalds and when her kid says no she won't bother to put the food away and it goes bad, and then gets on my laptop and makes me watch both kids.
-She makes little comments about how fat my daughter is (the pot calling the kettle black, at least my kid is fat from blueberries and multi-grain bagels instead of Oreos and Happy Meals).
-She sends her mom (who is just as crazy as she is) to my house at 1030pm screaming about stolen pills.
-She drives unsafely and doesn't buckle her toddler into a car seat ever.
-She takes one sip of one beer and uses it as an excuse to act like a piece of shit all night because "I'M SOOOO DRUNK!!!!!"
-She pretends to do drugs to look cool in front of people.
-She threatened to get my daughter taken away over lies.
-She sends text messages revealing her hand: "if you keep messing with oz i will call dcf and tell them you're shooting heroin" and "see jon again and i'll call the cops". Incriminating evidence, anyone?
-She showed up at my house at 1130pm asking "is oz there?" banging on my door.

There is tons more, but that's enough for now. Threatening my daughter was her biggest mistake, because I don't fuck around when it comes to baby Jasmyne. I did something that I've never done before- I went to the police. With all the threats (on text message, easily provable) about false reports to DCF, I wanted to have it written down in an official report so that anything she says to DCF will immediately be colored as the lie that it is. I went to the police station and filed a report for verbal harassment and threats of false allegations to authorities. Did you know that filing a fictional abuse report is a felony? Long story short, we now have a no-contact order and cannot see each other, call or text. I won't shed a tear over that tragedy. Sucks that our kids can't hang out, but that crazy ass little girl (I mean the mother, not the baby, I would never talk shit about a baby because I'm not like her) is just too fucking much to deal with.

So yesterday, after the police station, I went to my school to work at this:
http://www.americanfinewinecompetition.com/
It was an enormously overly fancy wine and food gala to benefit Haiti relief. I know, I know, what a hypocrite. I don't give a flying rat's ass about Haiti, but what fun it was! Being the students, we were just waiters and wine pourers and table busers and plate prep. But the money was good, the people were good, I had such a great time and it was a good learning/networking opportunity. I do have a stomachache from all the rich people food, and it was also funny to see how sloshed the rich folks got off the overpriced bottles of prize-winning wine.

anyone can lie and cops are pricks

So, they switched our groups at school and I am now working with someone who doesn't know his asshole from his elbow. He couldn't even wash the dishes, just stacked em under the table and stood there while we attempted to make food. Lame. He's gonna drag down my average, and I'm almost at an A (89% at the moment). Tomorrow's quiz and my cilantro report/recipe should bring my score up to an A no question.

And yeah, I was catching a buzz off the hydromet. So? I'm out of it, and I'm still taking care of my business instead of going out to the hood to cop one more fix. All of that "addicts are addicts forever and can never use anything because one is too many and the drug causes all the compulsion to come back" crap is just crap. I can get high without acting like an asshole about it, I'm not some sort of diseased cripple. And btw I don't care what anyone was arrested for, anyone can lie and cops are pricks. I only care what people actually did. For example, if someone shot someone and then got arrested for pot, I'd avoid them way more than the person who got arrested for domestic violence without actually doing the crime. Living next door to an oxy addict? She's not an oxy addict, she's a liar who doesn't even do pills. It's just another layer of the facade.

Naomi- congrats to your sister for the new baby. They are so loud and obnoxious when they are born, no?

I miss my kid so much during the week, I only get to see her in the mornings and then I get home at 6pm and she goes to bed an hour and a half later. Fri-Sat-Sun is the only real quality time I get to spend with her, can't wait until the weekend.

9/12 March on Washington DC

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If you've been watching the news lately, you probably haven't heard about the 9/12 March. Well you might have... you know, the giant KKK rally? Where "thousands" of "conservatives" marched on the Capitol in Washington DC to like, oppress black people and kill puppies and whatnot. What actually happened, was over a million Americans marched on the Capitol in Washington DC to protest socialism, health-care reform, Obama, his 32 czars, Nancy Pelosi, the media, and foreign aid. Well, I was there and I got pictures to prove it.

Nothing could have been more fun than going to DC last week. I was at my parents house on Wednesday night, and we left on Thursday morning for a 7am flight, which Jazzie didn't much appreciate. We arrived at the airport at around 630am and realized that Jaz had peed through her entire outfit and onto my mom's shirt. I didn't even have an extra outfit in the carry-on bags, since she hasn't done that for months, so she went on the plane in just a shirt and her diaper cover. She didn't cry or whine or annoy anyone on the plane, she mostly slept and nursed and played quietly. We arrived at Reagan Airport in what is apparently Virginia at around 930am and jumped on the Metro to our hotel in downtown DC.

We got to the hotel and were told that our rooms wouldn't be ready until around 3pm. Jaz ate some oatmeal and some raisins and Cheerios at the airport, but she was a little grumpy because she usually eats a whole bunch of fruit for her meals (watermelon, blueberries, bananas, grapes, mangoes, avocado, papaya, etc). So we dropped off our luggage with the hotel folks and walked the 20 blocks over to Whole Foods. She slept the whole way over in her stroller, and when she woke up we already had her food ready and baby felt a lot better after eating her normal stuff for lunch. On the way back to the hotel, we took a cab because we didn't want to walk 20 blocks back with big grocery bags which was exciting for Jazzie.

We got tired of hanging out in the lobby, so I walked the stroller into Chinatown for no apparent reason. I learned that Newports were about ten bucks a pack in downtown DC, which is fucking sick, but I found a homeboy on the street selling Newport packs for $5. You can bet your ass I bought those. I got back to the hotel at 4pm (an hour after our room was supposed to be ready) and they told me it would be another 45 minutes. Hells to the no. I spit game until I got us different connecting rooms that were available immediately, and we went up to the 7th floor. Lucas showed up around 7pm and we went to eat at a nearby steakhouse but they had an "indefinite wait time" which was shit so we had to go to a sandwich shop instead. Jazzie had her food, but I can't eat at restaurants except for steak cooked in nothing and salad with no dressing (because of soy) so I didn't eat anything, figuring I'd figure out a way to have breakfast.

That night after Jazzie went to sleep, Lucas and I went out in DC. We had a great time, and we did finally get something to eat. :) DC is a real city, and we wanted to enjoy our time in it. The next morning (September 11) I ate breakfast meats cooked in butter at the hotel restaurant. Bacon, ham, eggs, and cheese on Whole Foods bread, basically plaque on a whole-wheat bun. It was delicious and filled with protein. We went to the Smithsonian Institute and looked at the animals, which Jazzie really enjoyed and pointed at a lot.

That night there were huge pre-Tea Party parties at the Hyatt, at our hotel, and in the streets. Lucas and I drank Long Island iced teas and talked to different people. We were compiling a list of all the different states that protesters were from, and the biggest group was from Florida (that we met) and then Ohio and Texas. Three of the necessary electoral states. :) :) The South in general was very well represented, but there were West Coasters and New Englanders as well. When I asked a Southerner what state they were from, they would scream it: "TEXAS!!" "ALABAMA!!" "TENNESSEE!!" "FLORIDA!!" but when you asked some of the others, they'd look down and whisper: "um, Massachusetts" "*cough* California *cough*" which I found pretty amusing. Another good night in the big city.

The next morning we were there for the march at 9am. Folks were gathering up at Freedom Plaza earlier, but Jazzie had to eat her breakfast first. There were so many people there, and they were all smiling and happy and talking to each other and us. The signs that folks were holding up were often funny and creative, and in that whole crowd I didn't see one single sign that used the words "black" "Negro" or "nigger." I also didn't see any black folks there protesting, except for the ACORN counter-protesters. I'm glad that the ACORN folks were there, because they were exercising their first amendment rights same as the rest of us. I think the black folks who were there, protesting against Obama, that shows some real courage on their part- awesome for them.

There was a helicopter overhead, so we started yelling at it "read the bill! read the bill!" but we were passing by a building with the first amendment written on the wall (ironically enough, the Museum of Journalism) so Lucas started chanting "read the wall! read the wall!" Of course, it's really easy to start a chant in a crowd like that so everyone quickly caught on. A woman with a loudspeaker was trying to read the text of the first amendment but signs were in the way, so I ran over to her and showed her my smaller sign which had it written. I think we accomplished a lot at that march.

Here are some signs that I saw there that I didn't get any pictures of for one reason or another:
"I got tired of yelling at my TV so I came here"
"We are exercising our first amendment rights, but if that fails, there's always the second amendment."
"Bury Obamacare with Kennedy"
"Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than all of my guns"
"THIS time we came unarmed!"
"Okay, I'm here, now where's my check?"
"Where will Canadians go for their healthcare?"
(held by a man in an Obama mask) "It's not my fault, it was the previous administration"



Oh, and we actually cleaned up after ourselves too. :)

look at my sweet baby!

She can pull herself up on furniture and people now, and today she stood all by herself for about 3-4 seconds before toppling over.

This is after Jazzie ate a bagel with cream cheese all by herself- she practically used it as a napkin.

July 4th tea party pics- my favorite sign was "stop foreign aid".

Took me long enough, I know, but finally new pictures of fat baby. I am using Firefox now, no more shitty Internet Explorer! IE wouldn't let me upload my pictures, it just shut the picture folder every time I tried to upload anything from the folder to this blog or a message board or anything. Also it wouldn't let me log into gmail (I got 2 accounts and it wouldn't allow me into either) or play certain online games and AIM closes down while I'm talking and it froze up all the time- basically acted shitty all the time. Fuck Internet Explorer! No problems so far with Firefox. Silly name for a browser, but whatever. I'm not exactly a "computer person", I spend a lot of time online but it's mostly making money or writing or talking to other folks on message boards or chat rooms or AIM.

Jasmyne eats everything that I eat. Fettuccine alfredo, chicken pot pie, macaroni and cheese, lasagna, spaghetti and meat sauce, pizza, chicken with rice, squash soup, guacamole, bagels with cream cheese, grilled cheese and pickle sandwiches, salmon fillets, everything. I'm so glad that she's not a picky eater, on top of all her damn allergies. She eats healthful food, and a hell of a lot of it. An average meal for her: macaroni with meat sauce, mushrooms and leeks, blueberries, cherries, avocado, little pieces of cheese, green beans, a banana, and some yogurt or cottage cheese. I think she eats more than me volume-wise, without allowing for proportion. It's nuts. I really love that big baby- she's about 20 pounds now (apparently she's slightly below average, weight-wise).

I think Greg and I are broken up, but I'm not sure. He showed up past midnight, ranting and raving and telling me to wake up the baby which really pissed me off, especially in light of our discussion THAT SAME MORNING where I had told him to back off a little bit and not jump 9 feet up my ass. I told him to get the fuck out of my house because I'm not into that stupid jealous high-school shit. The next day I sent him an email saying that with much more detail, and he hasn't responded since. It's been over a week. If he hates me forever now, I want my fucking stroller back.

Sobriety is grating on me, I'm so goddamn exhausted all the time (hep C?) no matter how much I sleep and it would make my life ever so much easier to get some ups. It's not worth it of course, baby Jaz is the most important thing and it needs to stay that way. Just sometimes it's fucking difficult. What I need to find is a young mother who shares my... interests. That would be just awesome.

In closing, I really really really really really really hate Obama. He can't be stupid, you can't get elected president if you're stupid, so why does he do so much stupid shit? Cap-and-trade, to "create jobs" in industries we just don't have the technology for? "Oh, we don't want people to use any fossil fuels... or nuclear power, because that's evil... so we will tax the SHIT out of oil and gas until y'all use something else." But there isn't anything fucking else that's possible and affordable. If solar power or wind power was efficient, people would be making money in these industries. It isn't efficient, affordable, or really useful AT ALL. So the solution of course is to punish Americans for not having another choice in energy. Liberals in action. God I hate that man. Obongo the fucking asswipe.

when's the last time a new tax helped YOU?

As if the new federal tobacco tax and ban on flavored tobacco and blunt-wraps wasn't enough of a pain in my ass, there is also a new state tax on cigarettes- an extra fucking dollar a pack. Jesus Harold Christ on a fucking rubber crutch. I paid $5.49 last night for a pack of Newports, and that really hurt. A year ago I bought 3 packs for 9 bucks. And if that store that I frequent is selling them for $5.49, that means the average asking price around here is up to around SEVEN BUCKS A PACK. It's disgusting. I'm gonna start rolling my own cigarettes, cause I don't want to quit smoking.

My brother thinks that stuff like new taxes on cigarettes and cap-and-trade (which will raise gas and utility prices) are what will keep Obama from getting re-elected. People can hear him on TV talking about compassion and hope and say "awesome!" and they won't know that the national debt just went up another 3 trillion dollars because it doesn't affect them. Once these folks are paying more for cigarettes and gas, they will take notice. Why is it so expensive now? Because there's a new tax. That hits them where they live because it's not just a number on a piece of paper, it's THEIR money being spent more quickly. And then every time they hear Obama spitting game on TV, their brains will filter right past the bullshit and all they will hear is, "there's a new tax." If something good can come of this and we can at least get rid of that stupid socialist elitist black asshole in the White House, then cool.

It's the Fourth of July which is awesome. We are going to the big tea party tonight at downtown which is awesome. It's gonna have all the people from the April 15th protest, plus all the people who just heard about it from their friends and family, plus all the people who are kicking themselves in the ass about missing the April one, plus all the curious people who want to see how big this movement really is, PLUS all the people who have gotten pissed the fuck off at Obongo since then. Tons of fun. Jazzie is gonna have so much fun, and just like last time I shall post pics.

My birthday is day after tommorrow, then in a couple weeks my brother is turning 21 which is just the bees' knees because once he can sit at a bar and hang out, we have a place to kill time where we're not getting bit by mosquitos.

the next illegal atrocity he commits

Not only am I not updating, but not many people that I read are updating either. Summer laziness I guess. Okay, I've been traveling which is fun. South Florida is hot.... sickeningly hot. I do want to talk about television though. And since it's my blog, I can write about whatever I want.

Being white-trash redneck southern trailer park blah blah blah (recently I was called a "white supremacist" which I thought was pretty fucking hilarious) it makes sense that I watch a lot of TV. A lot of it I watch on DVD because I'm either behind on the seasons or the show isn't on anymore at all. The series-type shows that I'm currently watching are: The Shield (I'd fuck the shit outta Vic Mackey), Weeds, Dollhouse, Dexter, Life, The Cleaner... and I think that's it. I probably missed one. The Shield is a great show with a very VERY disappointing ending, I just saw the series finale and it made me want to throw a rock at the TV. Lame. They had to kill Shane though, there wasn't another choice, but they didn't have to bone Vic and Ronnie like what happened. I am sad because not only is the show over (yes, I know it's been over forever but now it's over for me) but it ended in such a shitty way.

The Cleaner is another show I just have to complain about. Basically, it's this ex-junkie who decides to make a career out of "helping people." He is hired by worried family and friends of drug addicts, who pay him tons of money to do whatever it takes to get these druggies clean. And he does whatever it takes- kidnapping, beating folks up for daring to try to run away, holding them against their will, cuffing or tying them up, stealing their clothes so they won't run away, dogpiling, injecting them with sedatives, switching out their drugs with something that will make them violently ill (also known as poisoning), turning their children against them, robbing them... anything. And he does this to non-violent adults for DARING to exercise their free will and getting high. The cops are, in order for the show to work, on his side. But he can say "I help people" all day long, that doesn't change what he is- a thug. And a thug who kidnaps and steals and poisons for money, which makes him a bagman. The Cleaner? The Fucking Bagman is what that show should be called.

The worst part is that my mom actually thinks this bagman is justified in his actions! Because drugs are just so awful that if you get high, you deserve to have your life destroyed by a stranger. *rolls eyes* That's 12-step brainwashing bullshit right there on display, no turning back now. Then she talks shit about Vic Mackey from The Shield for being a violent piece of shit, but at least the folks that Mackey beat up were, ya know, bad guys! Murderers, gang members, rapists, kidnappers, child molesters, cartel employees. Shit on toast, I hate William Banks (the character from The Cleaner) but the show is still very interesting, and plus I like to see the next illegal atrocity he commits on some guy minding his own business with a rock pipe or whatever. Fucking asshole.

Did I update my blog just to bitch about how much TV sucks? Yeah, I think I did. :) Oh well. I can say "from now on I will update more often" but that might be a lie, so I won't say it. Aren't those Jasmyne pics cute though?

Jasmyne! She is so chubby, looks like a bowling ball with little arms and legs and a fat face right on top. Today she's 9 months old and 19 pounds. She likes to climb up on EVERYTHING, including a glass door (which I didn't think she'd be able to do, but boy was I wrong) and likes to practice taking steps while holding shit or while someone holds her hands. She loves food, not the jars anymore but real food like everyone else eats. I cut little pieces of whatever and she makes a big mess putting them in her mouth. Her favorite foods: cheese (any kind, even disgusting cottage cheese), mushrooms (especially with spaghetti sauce), sweet potatoes, raisins, bread with marmalade or cheese, pizza, prunes, and mango.

phrases that piss me off majorly

politically correct- this expression comes from the former USSR, with politically incorrect speech (anything against the government) punishable by imprisonment or death. Does this concept have any place in the USA? Hells no.

African-American- most blacks in America are not African in amy way. Hell, most whites here can trace their roots back to Europe, but we don't call a random white American a 'European-American' because white people are not supposed to have a culture.

media attack machine- it doesn't matter if it's the "right wing attack machine" or the "liberal attack machine", its still stupid. If you don't like a certain media source, don't watch/read/listen. Just change the channel. Yes, Fox News leans right. Yes, CNN leans left. So what?

animal rights- as Rush would say, animals have no rights. Don't y'all animal rights folk believe in evolution? As in survival of the fittest? Well in that case, animals had better go ahead and adapt to US, the human beings, who are at the top of the food chain whether you like it or not. It is not our responsibility to impede human progress to protect any species, it is their responsibility to survive IN SPITE of our influence. Animal rights activists are usually more anti-human than pro-animal.

income tax- unconstitutional involuntary labor for the government.

minimum wage- a restriction on free trade and actually bad for American workers.

affirmative action- government sponsored racism.

reverse racism- this implies that "normal" racism is always whites hating blacks, and that it is somehow different and needs its own phrase if blacks are hating whites. Wrong- it's exactly the same thing, so "reverse" is unnecessary.

gun-free zone- I wonder how many shootings take place in gun-free zones? That's where I'd go rob a house, cause no one had guns.

zero tolerance- fascism by definition.

[any American president]= Hitler- disrespectful to all the people who died in the Holocaust, at least until the death camps open up.

war on drugs- prohibition revisited, with all of the exact same problems we had back then, especially the violence caused by organized crime running substances.

pain and suffering- get over it and take some responsibility for your probably retarded actions that caused you to get hurt. In some cases, some folks should have their medical bills paid but if these million dollar lawsuits over coffee burns and lost pants are just ridiculous.

endorphin deficiency syndrome OR post-acute withdrawal syndrome- can you be honest with yourself long enough to drop this "syndrome" bullshit and just say that you want to get high? No one wants to hear your excuses, just cop a bag or a pill and shut the fuck up.

I'm gonna get some shit for this next one...
harm reduction- because if there's a group of folks really concerned about their health and general well-being, it's drug addicts. The whole game is a risk which druggies voluntarily take, why should the government then fund protection from their own habits, which they chose to partake in? There's also the fact that as long as drugs are illegal, govt-funded harm reduction programs are complete and total hypocritical bullshit. "Drugs are illegal, says us, but since we know you can't or won't obey this law, let me throw some money around to protect you while you go against the legal code." Bullshit. The only real "harm reduction" is legalization, period.

racial pride/gay pride- save the pride for something you actually accomplished instead of something you were born with and have no control over. Might as well say "I'm proud to wear size 8 1/2 shoes."

progressive- ever notice that most self-described progressives are anti-capitalism, pro-welfare, and anti-progress? Weird...

Drug Enforcement Agency- just die already (not the employees, just the organization).

speech codes- ummmmm, first amendment?

National Endowment for the Arts- go ahead and put the cross in piss, or draw a Mohammed cartoon, or stick a bullwhip up your ass and photograph it for all I care- freedom of expression. But why should tax dollars pay for this crap? You feel really strongly about public art, then put your money where your mouth is and donate so these, ahem... "artists" can continue to create. Where in the Constitution does it say that funding art galleries is a function of government anyways? Hint: it doesn't.

loitering with intent to commit illegal activities- how in the hell can you legislate something like intent? If we are innocent until proven guilty, and you can't prove something that hasn't happened yet, how in the hell is this shit legal?

separation of church and state- this phrase is NOT in the Constitution, and the "establishment clause" where this phrase came from is constantly misinterpreted. Voluntary (that's the key word) prayer in public schools, teaching intelligent design alongside evolutionary theory in science class, town halls erecting a Christmas nativity, or reading the Bible on break at work are NOT "Congress making any law respecting an establishment of religion" and are completely 100% Constitutional. In fact, banning some of those things might be stepping on the "free exercise" clause...

compassionate conservative- stop trying to make your political position more palatable to the other side, grow a set of balls and just be conservative.

racial quotas- government sponsored racism.

gun control- forget about waiting periods, carry permits, non-violent felons, mental patients, and fully automatic weapon bans- throw all of it away. Just let us all have guns and who knows, maybe violent crime might even go down.

partial-birth abortion- I try to be pro-choice because I love freedom, but I can't get past the part where they're killing babies who could survive on their own. I don't see the difference between partial birth abortion and stabbing my 7-month-old in the brain with a steak knife.

seatbelt laws- "oh, if only I, an American adult, had someone to keep me safe while I drive my own car! The fact that the seatbelt is right there means nothing, because no one is actively forcing me to wear it or threatening fines for not wearing it. Wait, big government is here to protect me from myself? FINALLY!" If you want to travel headfirst through your windsheild at 65mph, that should be your business.

feminist- yes we get it, abortions are awesome and men suck. Now will you take that butchie shit somewhere else because real women are sick of hearing it.

gay marriage "slippery slope" argument- how will Jacob and Steve's legal marriage affect YOUR straight marriage. Here's a hint: it won't. And how 2 legal adults (who have legal standing and can sign a marriage certificate) getting hitched can lead to a man marrying his sheep (who of course has no legal standing) or a little kid (who also has no legal standing) is really reaching. Just get married to who you love, folks, and if you really hate gay marriage then don't get gay married.

homophobe/homophobic/homophobia- do they really think we're AFRAID of those little fairyboys? HAH! Why not just "homohateric" or something more appropriate that will echo the general population's feeling on gays?

President Obama- I hope he fails miserably.

institutional racism- translation: "I didn't do a single thing right and fucked myself and others at every possible opportunity, but I'm a member of a protected victim group so it's not my fault." Cough cough HORSESHIT.

reparations- if you can name ONE black person in 2009 who has been enslaved legally by ONE white person in America, then maybe that person (but no one else) deserves reparations from his ex- owner (and only him). But that one person doesn't exist so shut up black people! We have a black president, y'all won, not shut the fuck up.

the rich get richer while the poor get poorer- why can't they BOTH get richer or BOTH get poorer? Hint: that's how it works in real life.

man-made global warming/climate change- cyclic warming and cooling of the earth has been occuring since way before humans existed. Blaming 200 years of industry on the imminent destruction of the entire planet is ignorant, not to mention ridiculous.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals- could they have chosen a crazier spokesperson?

gender is unrelated to sex- do I really need to say anything about this gay shit?

political prisoner- why is it that everyone who is referred to as a political prisoner has killed a bunch of people? Just call them murderers. Yes, I know, there are REAL political prisoners (such as anyone jailed for nonviolent drug "crimes") but I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about the ACLU-sponsered politically-correctly-colored murderers.

blogosphere- a pretentious way to say "blogs." Just say blogs.

the Twelve Steps- here's a program with the same 3-5% success rate as every other drug program on the planet, and yet they claim to have a monopoly on truth and getting clean. There's a lie in there somewhere. These programs are all about brainwashing, whining, and pseudo-superiority.

Al-Anon- 12-steppers who never did drugs or drank or gambled but still felt the need to whine in a circle for an hour a day. No one cares what happened with your drunken daddy 50something years ago. Get over it and stop rehashing ancient bullshit.

Scientologists- how much money do I hafta pay to learn the "great truths" of space aliens and thetan levels? This is not a religion, it's a worldwide scam., Why doesn't Stephen King or Ray Bradbury start a religion so we can take THAT seriously too. And not only are the CoS the most lawsuit-happy "church" in existence, they are also the most secretive. Anyother religion will tell you what they believe, and happily. What are they hiding?

9-11/Katrina conspiracy theories- these people believe that Bush is a monkey and the dumbest fool in America, yet he orchestrated a devestating attack on his own country's soil "for oil money" and still had enough brains and evil cunning left to create a hurricane, blow up levies, and drown a bunch of black folks just for shits and giggles. Brilliant analysis.

protected victim groups- these people don't need protection against getting their wittle feewings hurt, just get over it already.

white guilt- race traitors and race baiters. I never kept the black man down myself. I refuse to take on guilt for something that other people, people who share nothing with me but approximate pigmentation, might or might not have done generations ago.

hate crimes- thought legislation and mind control. Re: 1984 by George Orwell,

wealth redistribution- eventually you run out of other peoples money.

tolerance- not everyone will like you- get over it. Also, this leads to policies that, and I quote, "tolerate everything except intolerance." Ummmm, say that again?

nationalized healthcare- an obvious overstep of the governments responsibility.

diversity- the same folks who strive for racial diversity will do most anything to avoid diversity of thought, such as people who don't believe that diverse always equals better.

pro-choice- if they really supported a woman's right to choose, then why do they get so pissed when someone chooses NOT to abort? "Freedom of choice" means that abortion, motherhood, and adoption are all equally acceptable options. Otherwise, you're just anti-baby.

Anyone have any that I missed?

it's april 15, do you know where your taxes are going?

I would have been posting pics but there's something wrong with my picture folder. Every time I open it, everything shuts down. And I would just move the pics to another folder, but I can't open the fucking thing. Lame. Just wanted to say that later today I'll be at the local Tax Day Tea Party protest in downtown West Palm Beach today. I got a onesie for Jaz that says "I'm paying for your bailout." Her very first anti-government protest! So I will figure out how to post pics, and will do so tonight or tommorrow because I want those pics on my blog dammit!

Here is the main website for the tea parties:
http://taxdayteaparty.com/

Here is a retardedly conservative viewpoint on the tea parties:
http://michellemalkin.com/2009/02/21/tea-party-usa-the-movement-grows/

Here is a retardedly liberal viewpoint on the tea parties:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/13/opinion/13krugman.html?_r=2

Down with big government! Down with small government! Freedom!!!!

OBAMA'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS SO FAR...

Completely stolen word for word from someone on a forum I frequent, and I will give him credit if he tells me I should. Until then, just know that this is nothing but copy-paste.

1. Executive order forcing tax payers to fund abortions overseas.

2. Executive order to close Gitmo within a year (he's still trying to figure out what to do with the prisoners there, apparently having given it little thought before making his campaign promises).

3. Executive order effectively ending serious interrogations of illegal enemy terrorists by limiting questioning to the techniques spelled out in the Army Field Manual, pending advice from an advisory task force created by the President.

4. Suspended the military commission process, and dropped charges against Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri, the alleged mastermind of the USS Cole bombing and other terrorist attacks, to the outrage and consternation of the victims' families, though new charges could still theoretically be filed.5. Signed so called "Fair Pay Act" into law, violating his "transparency" promise to publicly post legislation for people to observe for five days before signing. The act is a boon to trial lawyers as it eliminates the statute of limitations for filing law suits alleging discrimination despite the current economic downturn, and it would force employers to pay completely different types of jobs equally, with government regulators determining which unrelated jobs (like janitorial and secretarial work) are "equivalent".Supporters of the bill completely ignore studies by economists like June O'Neill (who served in the Clinton administration) that virtually all but a tiny percentage of the pay disparity between men and women can be accounted for by legitimate factors like experience and qualifications.

6. Signed a dramatic expansion in SCHIP, violating his "transparency" promise to publicly post legislation for people to observe for five days before signing.The expansion will mainly fund government health insurance for children (and some adults) who already have private health insurance, raising a steep cigarette tax to ostensibly pay for it, while ignoring evidence that such programs serve to drive up general health care costs for everyone.

7. Alienated tens of millions of Americans by frivolously attacking Rush Limbaugh, the biggest conservative icon in the country.

8. Nominated a Treasury Secretary who failed to pay tens of thousands of dollars in taxes and employed an illegal alien.

9. Nominated a Commerce Secretary who was forced to withdraw in the midst of a corruption scandal.

10. Nominated a Health and Human Services Secretary who withdrew after it was discovered that he had failed to pay over a hundred thousand dollars in taxes.

11. Nominated a Chief Performance Officer who withdrew after it was discovered that she had failed to pay a significant amount of taxes.

12. Nominated an Attorney General who was involved in the Clinton pardon scandals and who worked to get over a dozen terrorists released from prison.

13. Selected a Chief of Staff (Rahm Emanuel) from Chicago with a reputation for ruthlessness who is widely disliked across the political spectrum.

14. Nominated a long time politician with no national security experience to head the CIA. Currently concerns are being raised over funding he received from various banks and other institutions.

15. Nominated for Deputy Attorney General a man who has argued that American courts should defer to the opinions of foreign bodies, even when the US isn't a party to a pertinent treaty that would make such rulings legally relevant.

16. Despite pledging that lobbyists "won't find a job in my White House," has given high power jobs to at least a dozen lobbyists so far.

17. Has transferred at least partial oversight of the census from the Commerce Department to "senior White House management" (see Rahm Emanuel), effectively politicizing the process that determines Congressional apportionment and influences government funding.

18. Under the guise of immediate "stimulus", has aggressively pushed for the passage of an almost trillion dollar spending package that largely consists of ad hoc pork elements, infrastructure projects that will play out only over a long period of time, and welfare style transfer payments erroneously labeled "tax cuts".

Shelley's 2-Step Recovery Program: RFR!

You know what I hate? 12-steppers. They aren't fucking special. "I'm a drug addict (or alcoholic, or sex addict, or compulsive gambler, or relative of one of the above, or whatever), I can't help it, I'm powerless. I can only stay clean by rehashing my past for an hour each day." Don't they realize that ANYONE who does drugs (I'll just use NAzis as an example to save keystrokes) for long enough will become a drug addict? They weren't born with anything different. Take someone who hates drugs, get them in a bad car accident where they need oxycontin to function long-term, come back in a year. Are they a drug addict? You bet your ass they are! No one is powerless over their addiction. We all choose what we want to do, and if we overdo it we get hooked. Then we believe that the almightly twelve steps are the way out of the mess that WE OURSELVES created.

Taken under the wing of veteran NAzis, we actually believe that nothing is our fault. Mugged your grandma for her percocet? You couldn't help it. Set a crackhouse on fire for refusing to serve you? You were powerless over the drugs. Let your 1-year-old son sit in a shitty diaper for three days while you were too tweaked to leave your room? Addiction is a disease, you can't blame someone for having a disease! Oh, and do 90 meetings in 90 days. That way you will be so retardedly entrenched in the program that you won't be able to figure out that it's all a bunch of manipulative bullshit. Addiction is not a disease, and everything that an addict does is that addicts fault. No more cop-outs, no more "disease of addiction", no more "endorphin deficiency syndrome", no more. Just take the goddamn blame for what YOU did.

But see, I am here to help so I am starting my own recovery program. It's called "Recovery from Recovery" or RFR. It's way better than any 12-step program because... wait for it... it only has 2 steps. And I can accomplish what took others 12 steps in a simple two:

1) Get the fuck over it.
2) Move on with your life.

That's all there is to it! And we only meet for five minutes to introduce ourselves and go over the steps. Once we've gotten over it and moved on with our lives, there's no need to continue the meeting, nor is there any need to meet again tommorrow. But, for those of us who need a little reminder, we do meet once a month to remind one another to get the fuck over it.

So, who wants to join RFR? Admission is free and I bet MONEY that my drug program will have identical stats to every other drug program on the planet: NA, AA, methadone maintenance, suboxone maintenance, 3-day detox, 28-day rehab, 60-day rehab, 1-year rehab, Christian drug programs, boarding schools, teen drug programs, hospitalization, methadone/suboxone detox, home "comfort-med" detox, and just saying fuck it and quitting all by yourself. They all have a success rate of between 3-5%, and RFR promises to match those statistics. After all, it works if you get the fuck over it.

just in case somebody forgot that I don't like Obama...